People Die During Allegations Of The Super Bowl All The Time

I sure enjoyed the hell out of watching Phillip Seymour Hoffman act.  He seemed like a shy, sensitive fellow, & his co-worker's tweets seemed to bear that out.  Jim Carrey tweeted, "For the most sensitive among us the noise can be too much."

So many people I admire, who were artists & musicians, have been dashed on the rocks thanks to the siren song of heroin.  I am squeamish when it comes to people poking needles into me; I always make sure I am lying down & looking away when someone takes my blood at the doctor's.  As such, heroin addiction was not much of a threat.

Also, I've never know any dealers.  Or if I have, I didn't know they were dealers.  I am astonished that people get drugs at all.  I wouldn't know the first place to find them.

A few friends on the Face-type-Book are wringing their hands about Woody Allen, whose adopted daughter has written an open letter accusing him, as she has for twenty years now, of sexually molesting her when she was seven.  This comes after her mother Mia Farrow & half-brother Ronan Farrow tweeted the allegations when Woody Allen won an award at the Golden Globes, & also after documentarian Robert Weide wrote a defense of Allen.  After the Dylan Farrow article, Roger Friedman wrote this article which suggests that this is some kind of campaign by Farrow to keep these accusations out there.

I don't think this is as big an issue for many of my friends for a couple of reasons.  One, a lot of them don't watch or don't enjoy Woody Allen movies.  Two, there's a contingent of them who, whether they like Woody Allen's movies or not, always side with the victim & decided, twenty years ago, he was a pervert on the level of Roman Polanski (who pled guilty to child molestation) or Michael Jackson (who was acquitted of one count but earlier settled out of court to the tune of 25 million dollars for another).

A smaller contingent might be my own: I don't know what to believe.  I certainly don't want to find out that someone whose body of work I admire is actually a pedophile, but I don't think there's enough evidence to prove it conclusively.  However, I am deeply affected by Dylan Farrow's letter & my heart goes out to her.  I just find myself so full of doubt I don't think I can even begin to know what really happened.

I often find you can tell a lot about a person by their initial reactions to such allegations.  I do the same thing, have the same sorts of things that I will automatically jump in defense of without thinking it through first.  I check myself, however, & try not to jump on the Twitter or whatever & throw out accusations.  I wish most of us could install the same sort of filter.

But it's intriguing how experience & loyalty fuck with the filter.  I dated for a while a sweet woman who was a feminist, who would automatically take the side of any woman who claimed to be raped or sexually assaulted or sexually harassed.  She volunteered at a battered woman's shelter & she had seen first-hand the devastation that violence against women caused.

She also was part of a new-age-y self-help group whose leader was, during the time I was finding out what she was a part of, accused by many female members of the group of raping them during their quasi-religious therapy sessions.  The number at the time was growing.  When I mentioned this to my girlfriend, she automatically dismissed those women's claims outright.  She couldn't believe the founder of her therapy-ish religion could do such a thing.

Although if it had been a Christian, she would've sided with the women.

I didn't watch the Super Bowl last night, but I read tweets about it.  (I'm so meta.)  I understand it was a shut-out, & not enough of a contest to be entertaining.  Someone either there or Facebook said something funny, which I paraphrase: I didn't watch the Super Bowl, but as I was flipping channels, every time I came to the game, the Seahawks were scoring.

Self Help Radio 013114: The Only One

Are you the only one who really knows what the hell is going on?  Are you perhaps the only one qualified to give an opinion on the matter?  Might you be the only one we can turn to in times of crisis?  Or are you just someone's only one?

Huh.  It turns out there isn't only one "only one."  However, there is only one Self Help Radio show about "the only one" & you can listen to it now at the Self Help Radio website.  If you prefer a more direct approach, the show is available instantly by clicking either part I or part II.  The songs (mostly called "The Only One") that I played are below.

Thanks for being the only one who listens!

(part one)

"The Only One" The Computones _Acappella Showdown, Vol. 1_
"Only One" Arthur Lee Maye & The Crowns _The Best Of Arthur Lee Maye & The Crowns_
"The Only One" Lulu _Something To Shout About_
"The Only One" Roy Orbison _Mystery Girl_

"The Only One" Pink Industry _Who Told You, You Were Naked_
"Only One" He Said _Hail_
"The Only One" Billy Bragg _Workers Playtime_
"The Only One" My Dad Is Dead _The Taller You Are, The Shorter You Get_

"The Only One" American Analog Set _Know By Heart_
"Only One" The Ramonalisas _Wintersliding_
"Only One" The Barbaras _2006-2008_

(part two)

"The Only One" The Cure _4:13 Dream_
"Only One" Smith Westerns _Dye It Blonde_

"The Only One" Birdmonster _From The Mountain To The Sea_
"The Only One" Holly Golightly & The Brokeoffs _No Help Coming_
"The Only One" The Leftovers _Eager To Please_
"Only One" Colleen Green _Sock It To Me_
"The Only, Only One - Parts 1 & 2" Jack Drag _Little Molly Has A Treat For You_

"The Only Ones" Pipas _Sorry Love_
"The Only Ones" All Girl Summer Fun Band _Looking Into It_
"Only Ones" Burnt Ones _Black Teeth & Golden Tongues_

Whither The Only One?

Years later, it was 2083 & a lot had changed.  The only human being left on the planet walked up & down the street, in-between the smoldering volcanoes, which was her morning constitutional.  To the abandoned surveillance cameras she would wave.  There were so many fatty insect worms to eat, she could just reach out & grab them, but she had to keep her eyes closed - they had begun to evolve faces, specifically her face, as a coloring to keep themselves alive.  Stupid radiation!  It would have taken centuries for that to happen before!

The aliens came after she had managed to get an old VCR to work, & was trying to remember a time when people with "white" skin had existed in such numbers.  She tried to explain to the aliens that this had once been a vibrant planet, with billions of people more or less like her (with only two eyes, though), that this had been a giant city, the biggest & best city on the planet - at least to her.  She had really never made it out of Indianapolis.  The aliens had come to meet the people who had been broadcasting "Hogan's Heroes" at them for so many years.

An alien doctor - it could've been a doctor - it might also have been a little frisky - took some blood & let her know what they'd discovered.  One, she might live forever, which made her both happy & sad.  Happy because she had so many videotapes to watch.  Sad because she missed her computer.  It also told her that she could reproduce with any one of them, but that their children would be approximately 76% alien & the smaller percentage human.  This made her sad because she felt her children would therefore be at a disadvantage at the good alien schools.

She asked if she could think about it, & also if she could have a ride around on their flying rectangle spaceship.  They showed her the ruins of her planet.  Everywhere human constructs like nuclear plants & oil refineries had, without anyone to mind them, exploded & poisoned the world  Strange creatures were born & died quickly in the volatile oceans, while plate tectonics changed the landscape which she might have remembered from the time or two she actually looked at a globe.  When asked by the aliens if she were too affected by the trip, she said no, she just wanted to see if the mall in Plainfield was still there & maybe open.

The aliens were nice but she was glad to see them go.  They said they might return in three hundred years when they fly back this way, but she didn't think they were the sort of aliens she needed to be hanging out with.  Mate with them!  That's absurd!  You might be the only one here, she thought to herself, but you have to have some kind of standards!  Anyway, she found the complete series of Matlock on VHS & that would keep her busy till volcano season was over.

Preface To The Only One: Not Only One Only One Song

Oh god, there are times when I think I'm not going to find enough songs for a dumb theme - this week's being "the only one" - songs in which people talk about being someone's only one.  After digging through my collection - over the past week - I found almost three hours of songs with the words "the only one" featured prominently.

Three hours?  I need half that!  What happens next?  Oh, I'll tell you what happens next.  I decide, let's narrow this down.  I don't mean "narrow this down" to the best songs as I think they are - the three hours I had were all great songs - no, I decided to use one more filter in deciding what to play.

This is something I dream of doing from time to time: having an entire show feature all the songs with the theme as the title.  I've only done this once, for a show back in 2010 with the theme "tell me."  I was so proud of myself - 24 songs all called "Tell Me"!  Too bad I did the show in West Virginia & no one heard it.

I came close to doing again recently - back in November, I did a show with the theme "wonderful" but didn't have enough to fill the entire show (I would have if the show were ninety minutes long, though).

The dream lives.  I will try to only play songs with the theme's name as there title!

Will I be able to do it with songs called "The Only One"?  Probably not - but I'm still whittling that list down for the show on Friday!

----

My wife just asked me, "Whatcha doing?"
I said, "Writing in my dumb blog."
She said, "Are you writing about how much you love me?"

Well, now I guess I am.

Pete Seeger

I was going to tweet this today, but thought it might be too stupid: "It's too sad to keep writing about great musicians who have died. We should spend more time writing about the great musicians being born."

The exhaustion, though, is omnipresent.  Time marches on, everyone dies, even important people, people you love & admire, & you comment on it - you reflect on their lives, on how they changed or affected you - & before you know it, someone else has died & the cycle repeats itself.

My mother, who is pretty old, talks a great deal about people who have died or (more unnervingly) people who are dying.  It must seem a strange thing when all of your friends & immediate family are gone.  As I've gotten older & health issues have reared their ugly heads, I've become more acquainted with mortality - & of course it sucks.

If I die, a few people who cared about me would perhaps be sad.  But Pete Seeger was a giant.  I don't think I've known many people like him personally in my life.  He wasn't just a musician, or a singer, or a poet, or an activist, or propagandist, or entertainer.  He had all that inside him & more.  He certainly was full of love, love of the highest order, for all humankind, working tirelessly & facing obstacles that would defeat & wither most of us.  & he sang.  He sang & played guitar & performed to countless folks.  He never stopped believing, he never stopped fighting.

I often say things like, "If so & so hadn't existed, so much of what I love wouldn't exist."  Pete Seeger championed Bob Dylan, one of my musical idols, but there's no reason to think Dylan wouldn't have broken through without his help.  Probably more importantly, Pete Seeger influenced the hell out of Phil Ochs, an underrated musician whose politics often had to compete with his own musical ambitions.  Both Ochs & Seeger had voices critics described as "wooden" - & both put their lives where their mouths were when it came to the causes they believed in.  It's not too hard to draw a line from Seeger to people like Billy Bragg, who wrote something nice about him today.

Of course I love Pete Seeger's songs, I love the Weavers, I love the feeling of being included in a mass of humanity who want to be free of oppression, of greed, of hate.  I am so grateful to live in a time when it's as easy as a click of a mouse to find recordings in video & audio of Pete Seeger doing what he did best.  There are great photos my friend Aaron is posting on Facebook of Seeger live.  I have stolen one, & put it here:

Credit where it's due: Pete Seeger performing at Folk Festival at Town Hall, 8 March 1958. Photo by Ray Sullivan for Photo-Sound Associates.

In the pictures, Seeger is often tilting his head upward, possibly a result of singing at too many places where there wasn't amplification, but I have been charming myself with the notion that that's not entirely it.  Sure, he was singing to the audience assembled there, but maybe he thought that - just maybe - if he sang a little louder, projected a little more, & aimed his voice a little higher than the folks immediately in front of him, the rest of the world would hear, too.

Oh, Pete Seeger, didn't you know?  They did.

Why I Don't Watch The Grammys

I like to watch awards shows, & regularly tune in (though I DVR them so I can fast-forward through the commercials) to watch the Emmys, the Oscars, & the Golden Globes.  But I don't watch the Grammys.  & there are two big reasons.

The main one is I don't much care for modern commercial music.  I have been out of touch with what passes for mainstream music for over two decades now.  If you like that music, that's fine - I'm not here to tell you you're wrong or you have terrible taste.  I don't believe anyone's opinion is more "right" than another's.  I will pay more attention to someone who is more passionate about what they like, or who can explain to me why they like it, but I won't dismiss you because you just listen to whatever's on the radio.  It's how the industry functions, & commercial radio exists for the industry.

The bigger one is this: there are very few people who win a Grammy who haven't already made a lot of money for themselves & their record company (& their record company is probably going to be owned by a corporation).  This is markedly different from the Oscars & the Emmys - a small budget film can snag an Oscar, & a television show no one is watching can win an Emmy.  But just a small sampling of this year's "best new artist" nominees (not a terribly scientific sample, but I think it's typical) will give you a sense of what I mean.

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, who won the award, sold, according to Wikipedia, "78,000 copies in [the album's] first week, & debuted at number 2 on the US Billboard 200 chart, but debuted at number 1 on the Billboard Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums & Top Rap Albums, while entering the Canadian Albums Chart at number 4. As of November 2013, the album has sold over 1,132,000 copies in the United States."

James Blake I could find no sales information about, except that after he won the Mercury Prize last year, his album sales went up "2500%."  But you can see how well his most recent record did on  charts around the world here.  (He's had more than one record, which means his nomination for "best new artist" is weird.)

Kendrick Lamar (who has released three albums) had his most recent album, according to Wikipedia, "debut at number two on the Billboard 200 chart, selling 242,000 copies in its first week – earning the highest first-week hip hop album sales of 2012 from a male artist, along with the best-selling debut from a male artist of the year. It became Lamar's first album to enter the UK Albums Chart, peaking at number 16, & entering the UK R&B Albums Chart at number two. The album was also met with rave reviews from music critics, being named to many end-of-the-year lists. It was certified platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) &, by December 2013, had sold over 1,109,000 copies, according to Nielsen SoundScan."

Kacey Musgraves (another person with multiple albums under her belt) released a record last year that Wikipedia says, "debuted at number two on the Billboard 200, selling 42,000 copies in its first week. It also entered at number one on the Top Country Albums chart. As of January 2014, the album has sold 302,000 copies in the US."

& Ed Sheeran - who released his debut three years ago - had his record "debuted atop of the UK Albums Chart with first-week sales exceeding 102,000 copies The album performed well on the US Billboard 200, peaking at number 5, selling 42,000 copies. The album is the highest debut for a British artist's first studio album in the US since Susan Boyle's I Dreamed a Dream."

The bottom line is this: unlike other awards shows, which seem to honor artistic excellence, the Grammys celebrate success.  The Grammys not only suggest that commercial success means artistic success - they insist it does.

I listen to a lot of new records, but many of them probably don't sell a whole lot.  To the Grammys, & to the critics who don't get free copies because their (independent) labels can't afford to send any to them, they're not even worth consideration.

Here's why I suspect that financial success doesn't always equal artistic success: the list of "best new artists" from 1994, twenty years ago.

Toni Braxton
Belly
Blind Melon
Digable Planets
SWV

Toni Braxton won, & now instead of making amazing records that music critics are swooning over, she's on Dancing With The Stars & has her own reality television show.

Again, I'm not insisting that what I like is better than what others like.  I just think the Grammys could be more honest about what exactly the awards are given for: they're mostly celebrating achievement in making money.

That's the reason why I don't watch their awards show.

Self Help Radio 012414: Rope

Well.  Here you go.  The world was clamoring for an entire radio show about rope & Self Help Radio delivered!  (At least I think the world was clamoring for an entire radio show about rope…)

The show can be listened to now at Self Help Radio web page central.  It has been conveniently divided into two more or less equal parts & you can download each part directly by choosing either part I or part II.  I suppose you could play both simultaneously & I'm not saying that wouldn't be a step up in quality.  The songs about rope are listed below.

Thanks for listening!  I'm all tied up!

(part one)

"Jump Rope Boogie" Cliffie Stone _A Capitol Rockabilly, Pt. 1_
"Jump Rope Hop" Buddy Kain & The Nomads _Teen Rockin' Fever_
"Skip A Rope" Henson Cargill _Skip A Rope_

"The Same Rope" Etta James _Heart & Soul: A Retrospective_
"Indian Rope Man" Richie Havens _Richard P. Havens, 1983_
"Moving Rope" Longmont Potioncastle _The Best Of Longmont Potion Castle_
"The Rope Song" Devo _Hardcore, Vol. 2: 1974-1977_
"Fun With Ropes" The Go-Go's _Return To The Valley Of The Go-Go's_

"Out On The Ropes" The Shirts _Street Light Shine_
"No Rope Is Long Enough" Ups & Downs _Underneath The Watchful Eye_
"George Washington & Rope" Firesign Theater _Dear Friends_
"Rope" The Clean _Unknown Country_

(part two)

"Rope Waltz" Pee Shy _Don't Get Too Comfortable_

"Carrot Rope" Pavement _Terror Twilight_
"Bought A Rope" The Minus 5 _The Gun Album_
"Cut The Rope" Red Cloud Carter _Songs About Sculptures_
"Rope & Summit" Junip _Fields_

"Tightrope!" George Duning _Television's Greatest Hits, Vol. 4: Black & White Classics_
"Tightrope Ride" The Doors _Other Voices_
"Walking On A Tightrope" Percy Mayfield _Walking On A Tightrope_
"Tight Rope" Tom Dooley & The Lovelights _Downtown Soulville_
"Tight Rope" Brother Ali _US_

Whither Rope?

Basically, I wondered if I could find enough songs about rope to fill a radio show.  I did!  I would've had enough even if I still had two hours.

In my research (ie, looking around the web) I have discovered that human beings have been using rope for more than 19,000 years.  They found fossils of rope at Lascaux.  That's incredible.

To put it into perspective: anthropologists believe that human beings "invented" (it's better to say "discovered") agriculture around 10,000 BCE, or 12,000 years ago.  They had five millenia of playing with rope before they discovered they could plant seeds!

Humankind's fascination with rope hasn't ended.  There are websites which can teach you how to make rope.  You can watch youtube videos about it.  You can learn how to put together machines for making rope.

I can't think of the last time that I used a rope.  I think I went across a rope bridge last summer in Costa Rica.  I guess a dog's leash is sort of like a rope.  (If you actually use a rope for your dog's leash, you might be an asshole.)  Help me!  When could I have last used a rope?

In any event, people love rope.  It makes sense there'd be enough songs about rope for my little radio show.  & you'll get to hear it tomorrow at noon!

Preface To Rope: Not That Alfred Hitchcock Movie!

You've seen this, right?  It's a nice Alfred Hitchcock mindfuck from the late 1940s which was the first of four movies Stewart made with Hitchcock.  That's a nice tagline up there - "Nothing ever held you like Alfred Hitchcock's ROPE"!

This post isn't about that movie.  It's about Jimmy Stewart.

I became a fan of James Stewart late, having only seen It's A Wonderful Life in my first or second year of college.

Hey!  I preferred animated Christmas specials when I was a kid!  & I still haven't seen A Christmas Story!

Seeing "It's A Wonderful Life" began for me a period of watching Jimmy Stewart movies & especially movies Stewart made with Frank Capra.  I came to admire how sincere & likable he was & how he seemed to embody the values that Capra championed in his films.  (My favorite Capra movie with Stewart is You Can't Take It With You; my favorite non-Capra Stewart performance at the time may be his turn as a reluctant bad-ass in Destry Rides Again.)

Stewart's later Hitchock & westerns work - which I did enjoy - didn't touch me as much, but every Christmas during my 20s, I would see "It's A Wonderful Life" & say to myself, "I should write him a letter & just say thank you for how much his work has moved me."  I said that recently about DeForest Kelley, & I'll probably say it again at some point when someone I adore dies - for some reason I never get around to writing those letters.  But I found out some things toward the end of Stewart's life (he died in the late 90s, & there were a million tabloid headlines on a weekly basis for a few years with the lines, "Jimmy Stewart's Tragic Last ________") that made me hesitant to write that letter.

Which is stupid, I know.  I didn't love the movies he was in, or his performances in them, any less, with this new information.  Besides, an actor, like any artist, can sometimes betray his or her principles with their creation.  They are simply being the best of what they can be.

The big thing was that he was a Republican.  Not just any Republican, neither.  He was a hardcore party man.  He supported Barry Goldwater in 1964!  He campaigned for Nixon!  He was happy his pal Reagan became President!

You might not feel the same way I do - you might agree with him, or be apolitical - but man it gave me pause.  The guy who played George Bailey supported Goldwater?

Another thing: he wrote poetry.

Okay, I'm just kidding about the second one.  But there was a time when he'd appear on television talk shows, & in that voice, he'd read kinda banal rhyming stories.  It made those of us who wanted to write real poetry wince to hear the singsong crap Stewart was reading on the Mike Douglas Show (when we should've been wincing at our self-importance).

It's funny to later have come to be moved by it.  I remember seeing him read the poem to his dog on the Tonight Show (probably in reruns) & rolling my eyes - but then, that was before I had lost a dog that meant the world to me.  (You can see Stewart reading the poem here & be warned: it'll probably make you cry.)

As usual, I've lost my train of thought.  Oh I guess I wanted to say that I missed my chance - he died & I never sat down to write a letter.  & I wanted to say that I am less affected by weird facts about artists & their oddball religious/political personal information.  I don't let the fact that finding out some star I like is part of a wacky religion affect how I feel about their performances, & I'm hardly ever surprised when a musician or writer turns out to be the opposite of how, through their work, I perceived them.  (Like, did you know Woody Guthrie's son is a Republican?)

I often learn things from songs in simple ways.  In the Throwing Muses tune "Fear," Kristin Hersh sings, "This is much better than me, okay?"  I have always interpreted that line as meaning, "This song - these things I create - are always going to be better than anything I am as a flawed human being."

It's helpful (at least for me) to think about artists in that way, & so, more than half a lifetime after weeping at the end of "It's A Wonderful Life," I can reconcile the creations Jimmy Stewart was involved with & the strangely conservative real person he was.

Post-Birthday Blooz

It's weird, tonight we watched a couple of shows - Sunday's Girls & tonight's New Girl - & both were about birthdays.  Birthdays of the main characters.  In the shows, friends planned parties for them - in the former show, the main character knew about it; in the latter, it was a surprise.  Is it weird I am a little envious?

I wouldn't let anyone try to throw me a party these days, so it would perhaps have to be a surprise party if it were going to happen, but I have expressed dislike about surprise parties, so my wife, perhaps the only person who'd be able to plan one here in Lexington, wouldn't do it, fearing it would make me mad or otherwise irk me.

But such is the nature of the human brain that, even though I know, I really know, that neither option would appeal to me - no like me the surprise, & I probably would dread a party where I am the center of attention - heck, I am a little weirded out by simple Facebook birthday wishes! - my brain still would have liked some kind of to-do.

Trying to understand this is like the central issue of existentialism - the whole "bang your fist against the wall because you can, not because it will make a difference" thing.  I put that in quotes, by the way, not because it is a quote, but because that's one of things I say when I am trying to explain existentialism to people.

I am taking this from Dostoevsky:

Merciful Heavens! but what do I care for the laws of nature and arithmetic, when, for some reason I dislike those laws and the fact that twice two makes four? Of course I cannot break through the wall by battering my head against it if I really have not the strength to knock it down, but I am not going to be reconciled to it simply because it is a stone wall and I have not the strength.

But you knew that.  I guess it's the same thing for birthdays.  Just because I don't like birthday celebrations doesn't mean I don't want to suffer through them.

Oh!  It occurs to me now that that's how some might think of my show.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my 46th birthday, &, as usual, people who are far more accomplished & infinitely more important than I will ever be get the spotlight.  Happy MLK Day!

I share my birthday will lots of luminaries, whose work I appreciate & whose shadow I will always live under.  First of all, there's Lead Belly, whose birthday may also be January 23, but I'm glad to share it with those guys.  What a giant in the world of music!  More than an influence, Lead Belly appears to have been a force of nature!

There's also George Burns, a comedian so old & omnipresent through my youth & adolescence I'm still a little startled that he's no longer with us.

It's the birthday of Federico Fellini, a filmmaker whose works I should return to, whose magnificent creativity I could never hope to emulate.

& it's DeForest Kelley's birthday, & he is one of the main reasons I love Star Trek so much.  I know he was very beloved in his lifetime, but I always wanted to meet him & tell him how great he was.

The suave Slim Whitman was born this day.  I haven't explored his music much, though I have a couple of collections.  He's someone I associate with late-night television ads selling "greatest hits" packages from the 1970s & 80s.  Boy, I wish I could pull off that moustache.

Actress Patricia Neal was born on this day, & she's a familiar face in lots of old movies.  As was comedian Arte Johnson, whom I came to love from Laugh-In repeats I watched in my youth.  & then there's Buzz Aldrin, the second person to walk on the moon & possessor of a great punch.  (You've seen the clip, right?)  & I deeply admire much of the work of the great David Lynch, also born of this day.

Finally - there's more of course, you can see the names of births & deaths & event from the day on Wikipedia, there's someone whose show I watch weekly whom I find admirable: Bill Maher.  He's such a fascinating figure, & one with whom I have some big disagreements - but I confess I respect him a lot.

The wife just said, "Too bad you don't believe in astrology."  I think, actually, my name added to this list of luminaries would only make me a non-believer if I did!

Self Help Radio 011714: The Smelly Show

P U!  Oh man, this radio show is stinking up the place!  Well, what did you expect - it's Self Help Radio's smelly show.  & it is ripe.

You can listen to it now of course at the Self Help Radio website or there are direct links here: part I & part II.  The songs I played are below.

Sorry about this.  I need deodorant & mouthwash.  Whew.

(part one)

"The Sense Of Smell" PBNJBuchanan _What Died In Here?_
"Stinky Stuff" Kimya Dawson _I'm Sorry That Sometimes I'm Mean_
"What's That I Smell" The Famous Hokum Boys _Vol. 2 1930 - 1931_
"I Smell A Rat" Big Mama Thornton _The Original Hound Dog_

"I Like Stinky Cheese" Dick "Two Ton" Baker _The Music Of Dick "Two Ton" Baker_
"Smell Of Incense" Southwest FOB _Smell Of Incense_
"Odorono" Petra Haden _Petra Haden Sings: The Who Sell Out_
"Case Study: Buffum's Fragrance Counter" Drs. Carter & Gourley _Superego Volume 3, Episode 9_
"Stinking Drunk" Big Black _Atomizer_

"The Scent Of You" Starlet _Stay On My Side_
"Mr. Stinky" Ballbusters _No Hang Ups_
"Stinky Poodle" Tangela Tricoli _Garageaholic, Psychedelic Outsider Music!_
"Simple & Fragrant" Gilmore Tamny _All Is Fair In Love & Chickfactor: CF Mixtape 1_

(part two)

"Smells Like Cartoon Planet" Space Ghost _Musical Bar-B-Que_
"Smells" Richard Pryor _Richard Pryor_
"Smelly Tongues" The Residents _Meet The Residents_

"Sigh's Smell Of Farewell" Cocteau Twins _Love's Easy Tears_
"The Fragrance Aroma" Muslimgauze _Izlamaphobia_
"New Car Scent" Hospital Bombers _At Budokan_
"Buddy Odor Is A Gas" Gruppo Sportivo _10 Mistakes / Buddy Odor Is A Gas_
"We Smell Fear" Birds With Ears _Youth In Asia_

"Stinkfoot" Frank Zappa _Apostrophe_
"Smelly Water" Chumbawumba/Negativland _The ABCs Of Anarchism_
"Deodorant" Tall Dwarfs _The Sky Above, The Mud Below_

Whither A Smelly Show?

I feel weird writing this because I actually have finished the show.  I think the end product is tolerable.  It's not all that great, actually.  But I did record it live, & only made a couple of edits to my airbreaks.  But they were to try to make it funny.

These are the things that I've never liked about radio that I miss: underwriting, legal IDs, station promos.  Inevitably I feel like they take precious time away from the music I want to play or the dumb things I want to say.  But they do give structure to the show - if you have to play an underwriting grant at a quarter past the hour, you learn (as a deejay) to make sure you don't play a super-long track or you learn to not schedule an airbreak around it.  (By the way, the FCC would be fine if you played a super-long track.  You're not supposed to let underwriting interrupt regularly schedule programming.  But it's always felt weird to me, since it's a legal agreement the station has entered into with the donor business.)  For my new shows, I'll have fake underwriting & probably-not-funny skits I've made myself to help break up the tedium.  I understand I am only doing them, though, because I am used to all the required station stuff from my recent experience.

Well, also, I'm trying to be funny.

Anyway, I did the show today & it'll be up on the website in about twelve hours.  It's somewhat important to me that I make a new show available at the same time every week, so I will stick to that schedule.  I hope someone downloads & listens to it, & it would be great for some feedback.

By the way, "you suck!" is not terribly constructive.  Although that has never stopped my mother from saying it to me every day since third grade.

As I mention in one of the airbreaks you can hear tomorrow - to answer the usually rhetorical question that headlines the blog-before-the-show: I have three beagles & three cats.  I know a thing or two about smelly.  Why not share my experience with an easy-to-offend world?

Preface To A Smelly Show: Who You Calling Smelly, Stinky?

I live with three dogs & three cats.  I know a thing or two about stinkiness.

Maybe there's a better question: how can we make a radio show about smells smell good?  Or bad?  Or at all?

John Waters had the idea of Odorama for one of his movies.  It's funny, I thought that it happened for more than one movie.  Anyway, there was a card given out to folks at the theater & numbers would flash on the screen relating to one of the scratch & sniff options.  Viola!  You got to smell what you saw.

It's too late for me to prepare such a thing - so of course this week's show will not be in odorama or audio-smell or whatever.  But wouldn't it be great if it was?

Although to be honest, the smell of death is pretty close to the smell of flatulence.  & I may have songs about both.

Tumblr Addiction

Hi, my name is Gary, & I spend way too much time jumping from Tumblr blog to Tumblr blog laughing at nonsense.

According to Wikipedia, Tumblr was developed starting in 2006 & now hosts like 150 million blogs.  I have this blog, on competitor Blogger, but I also have a Tumblr blog, which I started in January of 2010.  I mainly featured links to Youtube videos of musicians I like (& some of the videos don't exist any more), & the occasional ridiculous or pretty picture.  I ignored it for most of last year, even though it takes no time to update it, but I'm trying to be better now.

When I started it, I had no real idea what made it different from Blogger.  It's because I very rarely "follow" blogs & even then I don't "reblog."  I understand that's how folks connect with one another using Tumblr, I just don't really do it.

What I do is this: I find a Tumblr blog, skim through it, find something funny, & then looked where it has been "reblogged" from.  Then I visit that blog, skim through it, find something funny, etc.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

The animated gifs are the best.  I love that people take time to make them.  There were animated gifs from the Golden Globes while the Golden Globes were still on the air.  That's pretty amazing.  I like to think people make the majority of them at work on someone else's dime.

In any event, it's a bit of a time waster for me.  I need to restrain myself.  But there's this Tumblr blog making fun of twelve-step programs!  Oh no!

Self Help Radio 011014: 1978

My last WRFL show is available for listening to now at the Self Help Radio website.  You may notice it's an hour longer than the actual show.  That's because there was a lot of great music I liked in 1978 & I focused on mainly albums & not singles.  Not singles!  What a crazy thing!  So included with the actual radio show is an extra hour of 23 more songs from 1978 that kick ass.  I could probably do a five hour radio show with my favorite music from that year.  Thankfully there are right-minded folks who keep me away from five-hour radio shows.

The song list is below.  The radio show's three parts can be accessed at the website or like so: part I then part II then part III or really in any order.

Thanks for listening!  Remember there'll be a new show this Friday!

(part one)

"Ever Fallen In Love" The Buzzcocks _Love Bites_
"Top Of The Pops" The Rezillos _Can't Stand The Rezillos_
"I Am The Fly" Wire _Chairs Missing_

"The Beat" Elvis Costello & The Attractions _This Year's Model_
"Safe European Home" The Clash _Give 'Em Enough Rope_
"Shot By Both Sides" Magazine _Real Life_
"Another Girl, Another Planet" The Only Ones _The Only Ones_

"Wuthering Heights" Kate Bush _The Kick Inside_
"Comes A Time" Neil Young _Comes A Time_
"Holocaust" Big Star _Third/Sister Lovers_
"Another Girl, Another Planet" The Only Ones _The Only Ones_

(part two)

"It's The New Thing" The Fall _It's The New Thing_
"Street Waves" Pere Ubu _The Modern Dance_
"The Day The World Turned Dayglo" X-Ray Spex _Germfree Adolescents_
"Public Image" Public Image Ltd _First Issue_

"Bye Bye Love" The Cars _The Cars_
"Can't Stand Losing You" The Police _Outlandos d'Amour_
"11:59" Blondie _Parallel Lines_
"I Just Want To Have Something To Do" The Ramones _Road To Ruin_

"Lee Remick" The Go-Betweens _Lee Remick_
"I'm Not In Love" Talking Heads _More Songs About Buildings & Food_
"Uncontrollable Urge" Devo _Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!_
"You Know You're A Man" Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band _Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)_

"You Can't Put Your Arms Round A Memory" Johnny Thunders _So Alone_

(part three)

"Read About Seymour" Swell Maps _Read About Seymour_
"Bored" Destroy All Monsters _Bored_
"Take Me, I'm Yours" Squeeze _Squeeze_
"(We Got The) Neutron Bomb" The Weirdos _(We Got The) Neutron Bomb_

"Nobody's Scared" The Subway Sect _Nobody's Scared_
"The Model" Kraftwerk _The Man-Machine_
"Know Your Product" The Saints _Eternally Yours_
"We're Desperate" X _Adult Books/We're Desperate_
"Lexicon Devil" Germs _Lexicon Devil_

"I Want To Be An Anglepoise Lamp" The Soft Boys _I Want To Be An Anglepoise Lamp_
"Hearts In Exile" The Homosexuals _Hearts In Exile_
"Can't Seem To Make You Mine" Alex Chilton _Bangkok/Can't Seem To Make You Mine_
"Brickfield Nights" The Boys _Alternative Chartbusters_
"If The Kids Are United" Sham 69 _If The Kids Are United_

"Hong Kong Garden" Siouxsie & The Banshees _Hong Kong Garden_
"Wives In Orbit" The Red Krayola _Wives In Orbit/Yik Yak_
"Damaged Goods" Gang Of Four _Damaged Goods_
"Suspect Device" Stiff Little Fingers _Suspect Device_

"Part Time Punks" Television Personalities _Where's Bill Grundy Now?_
"Human Fly" The Cramps _Human Fly_
"Where Were You" The Mekons _Where Were You_
"Killing An Arab" The Cure _Killing An Arab_
"Survive" Bags _Survive_

Whither 1978?

A sad show for me - the last show on WRFL - & of course whenever I do this show, it's always about getting older.  I'll be 46 in a few days - I understand I am on the downward slide of my life.

But boy there was great music in 1978!  Wow!  Tune in one last to 88.1 fm (to hear me, I mean - you are allowed to keep listening to the station!) if you're in Lexington or online at wrfl.fm from 10 to midnight tonight as Self Help Radio goes back thirty-six years to 1978.  Musically.  I won't be ten years old on the air.

Preface To 1978: A Little Remembering

In January 1978, I turned 10 years old.  I lived in Garland, Texas, & I was in 4th grade at Caldwell Elementary School, in a classroom I associate with being cold & dark for some reason, with a terrible old teacher named Mrs. Harris, who was one of those people who hated children so much you got the impression that she became a teacher because she was forced to at gunpoint, or because the school district held her parents hostage.  I don't remember much about her except how angry she was, how she felt like the children were trying to get the better of her & she'd have none of it, & how mean she was.  Just mean.  Here's a story:

We were put in seats that Mrs. Harris decided would keep us from talking.  As I mentioned in last year's post about 1977, I was a garrulous kid with a lot of energy accustomed to getting in trouble for being loud & chatty.  Generally speaking, I got away with a lot of this because I was a good student.  Some might even say that I talked & fidgeted as much as I did because I was a little bored.  Well, my grades or my smarts didn't matter to Mrs. Harris.  She wanted me to sit down & shut up.

She didn't let any of us - we were ten years old! - go to the rest room except when there was a break.  She imagined (probably correctly) we just wanted to get out of class (but usually to get away from her).  One time this person who probably doesn't go by this name & anyway won't ever read this blog I hope named Cammie Morris raised her hand & asked to be allowed to go to the rest room.  Mrs. Harris refused, saying she should have gone when she had the chance.  Did I mention we were ten years old? I was in the row behind Cammie to her left - we didn't sit in individual desks but on rows of desks put together so we were side-by-side - & I remember seeing her start crying.  While Mrs. Harris went back to whatever she was teaching us, Cammie basically just went to the rest room at her desk.

The girls around her, splashed with her urine, jumped aside, but no one laughed, to our credit.  Cammie was in tears.  I remember seeing the puddle move slowly toward me, & stop.  & I remember seeing Mrs. Harris' face, for the first time, looking alarmed & puzzled.  I don't remember her being nicer to us because of that, or it being any easier to go to the rest room, but I did perhaps experience my first "we fucking told you so" moment that is elusive when dealing with adults.

We were very resentful of the restroom restrictions, & I remember hating this fellow who came to the school during that year, whose name I just remember as "Bobby."  Bobby was very, very large - I was a fat kid, but he was Fat Albert large.  He apparently had a glandular disorder & had to go to the rest room often during the day.  He frankly smelled like shit, & of course no one liked him.  We didn't know about the glandular disorder till later, so I was resentful that he could just get up & leave the room.  Mrs. Harris didn't seem to care.

By the way, I found out later, talking to my brother-in-law who's a long-haul trucker, why Bobby might have smelled so awful.  My brother-in-law told me of these truckers who are so obese they literally can't wipe their own asses.  That might have been the case with Bobby.  Or his parents were so poor he didn't bathe regularly.  I have no idea.  He didn't stay at Caldwell long, & was gone before the end of fourth grade.

I hated Mrs. Harris' class, though.  Everyone was so unhappy, & I was picked on a lot.  That year may have been the most I ever missed school.  We had moved away - looking at Google Maps, I see that it was a little over a mile, but it was never within walking distance for me or my little brother, so we had to wait for one of our older brothers to take us, & we spent a lot of mornings banging on their apartment door trying to wake them up (we lived in the same apartment complex).  Some days - especially bad weather days or cold days - it just wasn't worth the trouble.  So Chris or I would call my mother - she was at work before eight am when school would start - & we'd say we were sick, & what could she do?  My sister Karin was sixteen at the time, so I suppose she'd skip school too.  I remember spending the day (after going back to sleep) eating cold cereal & watching shows like Hogan's Heroes & Green Acres, staples of 1970s afternoon television.

I think the school sent us a note at the end of the year that I had missed almost half of the days of the school year.  I did fine - I was an ace at getting school work done - but I wish I had the wherewithal at the time to say, "It's because of this shitty, mean, awful teacher!  I am a child & she makes the learning environment horrible!"

I wrote this about the year 1977 in regards to the music of 1977, & it's true about 1978:

"None of the music I will play on my show this week is anything I was listening to at age nine.  I liked listening to the radio, to what would later be called 'classic rock.'  Sometimes I taped it on a random cassette, but it wasn't important to me.  I hadn't discovered the Beatles yet.  I hadn't yet been so alienated from the world that I needed to find far-away voices who sounded like me to speak to me."

1978 would be the year that I discovered the Beatles.  There was a movie theater very close to my apartment complex called the Ridgewood Theater (here's some info about it; another site says it was opened in 1967, so it was a young movie theater) which for some reason just kind of gave up in 1978.  It showed the terrible movie Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band for weeks & weeks & weeks.  We would go & see it a lot - I suspect my sister would take us so she could make out with boys in the dark (I'll have to ask her).  I remember having a crush on a girl named Babette who lived in the apartment complex who came into movie at some point & asked me & my little brother to the movies.  (She probably thought my little brother was cuter.)  (I have an embarrassing Babette story that I may tell at some other time.)

Anyway, something about the movie enchanted me, & it was doubtless the music.  For Christmas that year, one of my brothers gave me the Beatles album, & my life changed forever.

It's funny to think that all the Beatles were alive in 1978 & maybe even saw that movie.  I hope someone involved apologized to them.  Or maybe the money was apology enough.

I think I have some cassette recordings of stuff from the radio from 1978 but I won't be able to find them now without too much digging around.  Comic books - I loved the Legion Of Super-Heroes & the other non-athletic kids & I would play-act them during recess - & Star Wars ruled my world.  I had a decent collection of Star Wars figures & often, in my alone moments, played with them & made entire stories out of their adventures.  I'd sometimes do this outside, & would lose one or two occasionally - I remember once finding the cloth cloak of a Jawa but never finding the little plastic fellow.

I concluded my blog about 1977 like this:

"But holy shit if I were self-aware there was some awesome music in 1977.  The fact that none of my older siblings noticed or brought it home is a fundamental reason why we were never friends, & don't really communicate with each other in our adult lives."

That may be a stretch.  Looking at the Billboard Top Songs Of 1978, I can see that they must've hated  most of that.  "Disco sucks!" was something I heard from them a lot.  One of my brothers worked at a tee shirt store in the mall - one of those that ironed-on stickers onto cheap shirts - & I wore one of those shirts to school one day - remember I was ten years old! - with a picture of Jimmy Page on it.  I paid enough attention to my brothers when I was asked who it was & said, "The guitarist of Led Zeppelin."  I sort of got it wrong when I was asked, "What kind of music is it?" & answered, "Acid rock."

But the fact that my brothers listened exclusively to commercial radio meant I wouldn't hear any punk or post-punk.  That never figured onto their radars.  Although it obviously would become some of the music that meant the world to me, as you'll hear tomorrow.

Big Changes In Store For Self Help Radio!

I am making three changes to Self Help Radio starting next week.  Those changes are:

1) Self Help Radio will no longer be on WRFL after this Friday.

I hope you couldn't tell in the radio shows, but I have not been having much fun doing Self Help Radio on WRFL for a little while now.  It seemed time for a break.  There's always a possibility I'll return to that fine station at some point, but for now the show will be exclusive to the Self Help Radio website.  Which brings me to:

2) A new Self Help Radio every Friday at noon.

I'll do my level best to make sure there's a new Self Help Radio every Friday at noon.  I'll be announcing it here, on the Self Help Radio Twitter feed, on the Self Help Radio Facebook page, & maybe I'll make sure to add a blinking gif that says NEW! when I add a new show.*

3) Shorter, pithier Self Help Radio shows.

I would probably do a three-hour Self Help Radio if I could (like this one) but I've been thinking I've felt the show was best when it was around ninety minutes long.  So starting with the January 17th show, I'll be aiming for only an hour & a half or so of SHR.  Of course, I won't be constrained by artificial time limits or selfish deejays playing too-long final songs or pushy coming-on-next deejays fading my songs out - but the show will only be longer if the themes suggest to me I should be.  (Or maybe shorter too?)

4) Wait, didn't you say there were only three changes to Self Help Radio?

Oh yeah.

5) I just like numbered lists, I can't help it.

I hope everyone listens to my last RFL show this Friday at ten pm.  You should!  It's my birthday show, & if you listen to it, you don't have to get me a present.

* That's a terrible idea.

Self Help Radio 010314: Confessions

I confess, this was the first Self Help Radio of 2014.  I confess, there will be more.  I don't know what my penance will be but I believe it's going to be heavy.

Hey!  Show at updated-for-the-new-year Self Help Radio website.  Also available directly from these links: part I + part II.  List of confessional songs below.

Remember the seal of confession!

(part one)

"My Confession" Bob Wills _San Antonio Rose_
"Confession Blues" The Maxin Trio _Ray Charles: Genius & Soul_
"Confessin' The Blues" Billie Poole _Confessin' The Blues_

"The Confession" Phil Ochs _Farewells & Fantasies_
"True Confessions" The Undertones _Babylon's Burning: The Rough 'N' Ready Rise Of Punk Rawk 1973-1978_
"My Confession" The End _Inner City Sound: Australian Punk & Post-Punk_
"Confessions" Flowers _Mutant Pop Compilation_
"I Confess" Dorothy _I Confess 7"_

"Confessions" X-S Discharge _Kilt By Death: The Sound Of Old Scotland_
"Confessions" Violent Femmes _Violent Femmes_
"I Confess" The English Beat _Special Beat Service_
"I Confess" Lyres _On Fire_

"Confessions" Peter Murphy _Should The World Fail To Fall Apart_

(part two)

"Confession Time (Cops)" Bill Hicks _Rant In E Minor_
"Confessions Of A Psycho Cat" The Cramps _Big Beat From Badsville_
"Mi Confesion" Gotan Project _Lunatico_

"Lazy Confessions" The Moldy Peaches _The Moldy Peaches_
"Confessions Of A Big Brother" Arab Strap _The Last Romance_
"Night Time Confession" The Charade _The Best Is Yet To Come_
"Confession" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"Confession" Anyways _Older Than Yesterday_

"Confess" The Tellers _Hands Full Of Ink_
"The Loud Confessor" My Teenage Stride _Lesser Demons_
"Confessions" Emma Pollock _The Law Of Large Numbers_
"Ghost Confessions" Cinema Red & Blue _Cinema Red & Blue_

"True Confessions" RJD2 _You Don't Know Ninja Cuts_
"I Confess" Land Of The Loops _Bundle Of Joy_
"Hard To Confess" Heptones _Studio One Showcase, Vol. 1_

Whither Confessions?

First of all, it says "Confess!" on the website, but I have always meant the theme to be "confessions."  I don't know why I wrote "confess!" on the website.  I think I am guilty about something.

I don't know how many confessions you will hear, but I have at least one song that talks about confessing to the cops, & more about confessing to one's priest.  It'll happen tonight at 10pm on 88.1 fm in Lexington & online at wrfl.fm.  Please to listen & feel free to add your own confessions.

Preface To Confessions: That's Not Funny, That's Sick!

I was a child in the 1970s, & had two older brothers who lived with us in their teenage years & whose cultural detritus littered my life.  Mostly I read their comic books, but increasingly I was exposed to their music & some of the other stuff (like drug paraphernalia & girlie mags) they left around or kept in their room where I & my little brother would break into & explore when they were off doing stuff.  (Remind me to tell you of the time I ate a lot of strawberry-flavored rolling papers because I thought they were supposed to be a treat.)  (Oh, wait, I just told you.)

One of the more enduring records they left lying about was this National Lampoon record, released in 1977 & featuring people like Bill Murray, Christopher Guest, & Larraine Newman.  I listened to this record a million times - & frankly I didn't understand much of it.  I just liked the way it sounded.  I didn't get that Mr. Rogers was portrayed as a pedophile, I definitely didn't get the Jewish humor, & I have never really heard a call-in show like the one Richard Belzer is making fun of.  But probably by the age of ten I had good chunks of it memorized.

I didn't know what a Catholic was when I was ten, & I barely knew anything about sex, not to mention euphemisms for our naughty parts.  So I had no context for this amazing (& short) sketch between Bill Murray & his brother Brian Doyle-Murray, with the latter playing a priest & the former a fellow in the confessional.  Have a listen courtesy of Youtube, but be warned - there are lots of bad words here:



It's really funny when you understand the set-up - a guy says a bad word in the confessional, the priest says "I've heard it all before," & then the two banter horrible indecencies back & forth.  Imagine a nine or ten-year-old who had barely been to a protestant church trying to make sense of them.  Never mind the outright dirty phrases - I wouldn't get "Madame Ovary" until I was in my late teens!

I do remember repeating the "afterbirth on toast - that's pizza" to a friend who found it very funny, but even then I didn't know what the hell afterbirth was.

It was fun learning the context of the sketch & revisiting the record years later.  I played that record so much that it came to skip on certain tracks - the curse of the cheap turntable - & I eventually just put it back in my brothers' record collection & hoped they never noticed it.  If they did, they never told me.

I am thinking about this because I would love love love to play this on WRFL tomorrow for my confession show, but the station's policy on indecency makes it impossible - & editing it would take all the funny out of it.  But I can post it here!

Happy New Year!

2014 will be a strange & ridiculous year for Self Help Radio.  In the next few days, you'll see why.

I made the wife a margarita & talked to one of my oldest friends on the phone on New Year's Eve.  Meanwhile, at the beginning of the year, Lexingtonians fired off lots of fireworks & made a lot of noise.  Strangely, it seemed more quiet than in previous years - but maybe my neighborhood went to bed early (or went to more happening places for parties).

Now it's the new year, & I guess I don't feel any different.  It may snow tomorrow.  I have a show on Friday.  My neck kind of hurts.  I need to watch "Orange Is The New Black."  Does that sound any different than 2013?

I know, we need rituals.  I should've been involved in a ritual.  What makes me think I'm better than any ritual?  Silly me!

Self Help Radio 122713: Indiepop A To Z # 42

Eeek!  I've soldiered through the letter H & now have begun the letter I.  I am glad no one has recommended me to the funny farm yet.

It's the end of the year, but the show's on the same old website: self help radio dot net.  It's also in two easy-to-download parts: part the one & part the two.  Alphabetical list of songs below.

Happy new year!

(part one)
"Too Young To Be In Love" Hunx & His Punx _Too Young To Be In Love_
"Fluoro" Huon _Library Records 1998 - 2003_
"The Sun Shines Here" Hurrah! _The Sun Shines Here 7"_

"Step Into My World" Hurricane # 1 _Hurricane # 1_
"Not That Easy" The Hurries _EardrumsPop 100_
"Saturday" Hushpad _From Here To There_
"Flower Of The Hour" Lida Husik _Joyride_
"When Time Was On Their Side" Husky Rescue _Ship Of Light_

"Sometimes You're Incredible" Hyacinth Girls _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Vol. 6_
"See Me Through" The Hybirds _The Hybirds_
"Questions I Can't Answer" Hydroplane (Darla 100)
"Car & Kettle" Hyper Kinako _Hyper Kinako_
"No Te Sientas Mal" Hypnomango _Ashell IV_

"Me To Be" I Am The World Trade Center _Out Of The Loop_

(part two)

"Charlemagne" The I Live The Life Of A Movie Star Hideout _Moshi Moshi (Pop International Style)_
"Preposterous Tales" I, Ludicrous _It's Like Everything Else_
"Norman Bleik" I Was A King _I Was A King_
"Lemonade & Somersaults" The Icicles _Pure Sugar EP_

"Poor Dumb Bird" Ida _Ten Small Paces_
"The Knack & How To Get It" The Idea _Sideways Smile_
"High Over Hollywood" Idha _Melody Inn_
"Loaded" Idle Hands _The Heart We Broke On The Way To The Show_

"Five Hours" Igloo _Pop American Style_
"Johnny Be Tristan" Iji _Unltd. Cool Drinks_
"We're From Barcelona" I'm From Barcelona _Sing!! With I'm From Barcelona_
"Brighton Beach Postcard" The Imaginary Friend _Letters Home_

"Pop Girl" The Immediates _A Chance To Shine - Dorian Records Compilation_
"The Things You Love" Impossible Tymes _Try A Little Sunshine: A Greek Indiepop Compilation_
"Baby, Baby" The Impossible Years _Baby, Baby_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 42?

Eek! It's late! I'm on in less than hour!

I continue indiepop alphabetical nonsense from ten to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & online at wrfl.fm!  Listen if you appreciate the fine art of indiepop or doing things in a dictionary-type style!

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 42: What Is Boxing Day Anyway?

Elvis Costello seems to know:

Happy Christmas From Self Help Radio!

Though I don't celebrate Christmas - I often tell people who ask me why that I am not a Christian, & I don't have children, so there's not a lot of participating for me in the holiday - I do remember how wonderful it was when I was a child (a childhood, by the way, in which Santa seemed a hell of a lot more important than Jesus ever did) & I understand that it's a good idea to have a time that you can spend with your family, because that's important for most of us.

This year I made my wife go to California to spend Christmas with her mother, & I think I even convinced her to visit her father.  It's after five pm on Christmas Day & my own mother hasn't even called yet.  That would bother her if she were in my place, but I liked spending three hours on the radio this morning, & I liked sleeping through most of the day (although I did catch a cold this week - my first one this year, I believe - & I caught it from being in a house with small children, who are sickness incubators).  The wife is getting on a plane & will be home in time for boxing day when, I hope, we get a chance to go at it again in the ring - she luckily ko'd me in the third round last time.  She distracted me with flirting.

I do love Christmas carols.  Like television theme songs & advertising jingles & Saturday morning "educational" songs, they figure prominently in my childhood.  I do a radio show about them every year!  So I enjoy some aspects of the season.  Though I don't buy anything, or give gifts, or spend time with family, or believe any of the myths & superstitions associated with the holiday, there is something nice about it, & I hope you are having fun doing whatever you are doing on Christmas Day!

Self Help Radio 122013: A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013

Hey!  It's Christmastime!  I should do a Christmas show.  Like I do every year!  I did!  I did it!  Another Christmas show!  In the can!  Wrapped under your tree!  Sneaky in your stocking!  Ho ho ho!

Radio show here ---> selfhelpradio.net

Or here in two parts ---> part I | part II

What songs did I play ---> listed below.

Happy holidays all!

(part one)

"Rod Serling Explains The First Christmas" National Lampoon _Buy This Box Or We'll Shoot This Dog: The Best Of The National Lampoon Radio Hour_
"The Twelve Days Of Christmas" The Master Chorale Of Tampa Bay & The Florida Orchestra _A Musicological Journey Through The Twelve Days Of Christmas_

"¿Dònde Està Santa Claus? (Where Is Santa Claus?)" Augie Rios _Christmas Songs_
"Let Me Be Your Christmas Toy" Chocolate Snow _Eccentric Soul: Smart's Palace_
"L'il Elfy" Ray Bolger _L'il Elfy_
"I Can't Wait" Richard X Heyman _I Can't Wait_

"The Ho Ho Chorus" The Queen Bees _The Queen Bees Buzz Christmas_
"A Very Very Merry Christmas" The Singing Grandmothers _A Very Very Merry Christmas_
"Christmas Caroling" Louis C.K. _Live In Houston_
"Christmas Shopping" Buck Owens & His Buckeroos _Christmas Shopping_
"Christmas" Clinic _Come Into Our Room_
"Little Stars" Holly Golightly _Little Stars_

"The Mistletoe & Me" Isaac Hayes _The Complete Stax-Volt Soul Singles, Vol. 2: 1968-1971_
"God Rest Ye Funky Bhangra" James Whetzel _Holiday: Sarod & Beats_

(part two)

"Green Chri$tma$" Stan Freberg _The Tip Of The Freberg: The Stan Freberg Collection 1951-1998_
"Twinkle" JD McPherson _Twinkle_

"The Little Drummer Boy" Kool & The Gang _Kool For The Holidays_
"You Are My" Big Tree _Decembet EP_
"The Smallest Christmas Tree" Ashtray Boy _Candypants Beach_
"The Snow Doesn't Fall" The Aislers Set _A Christmas Gift From Fortuna Pop, Volume One_
"Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree" The Magnetic Fields _Realism_

"When Santa Claus Gets Your Letter" Anne Lloyd & The Sandpipers _When Santa Claus Gets Your Letter_
"Santa Couldn't Fit You Under My Tree" Summer Hymns _Kindercore Fifty_
"Christmas At The Airport" Nick Lowe _Quality Street: A Seasonal Selection For All The Family_
"The Night Before Christmas (In Texas, That Is)" Gene Autry _Merry Texas Christmas, You All!_

"Back To The Beat (Jingle Bells Version)" Astonomar _A Very Decent Christmas_
"The Snowdog" MomusMcClymont _MomusMcClymont_
"Kiss You In The Snow" The School _Yo, También (Me, Too) OST_
"Am I Too Old For Christmas?" The Ashes _Mint 400 Records: A Very Merry Christmas Compilation_

Whither A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013?

'Twas five days before Christmas, Self Help Radio's on the air,
But Lexington was shopping - less they could not care.
Still Gary was deejaying, playing holiday tunes
When he felt a strange presence right there in the room.
"Damn those moths & cockroaches!" he cursed, shaking his fist -
Until he thought he heard a slight "Tsk, tsk, tsk."
Holy shit! It was Santa! This could not be!
It was the last time Gary'd do radio after dropping LSD!
"I am not a figment," said the jolly old dude,
"Of imagination, as you previously construed.
I am dear old Nick, & I wanted to say
Despite your humbuggery & atheist ways
That I appreciate you & your radio shows…"
Then he put his fat finger right up to his nose
& blam! he crashed right up through the ceiling
Into his waiting sleigh - Gary was reeling.
"If that wasn't real, I'm insane," he said on the air,
"Plus he talked in rhyme - I swear I swear!"
After his show, a show no one listened to
He drove home in the cold, he was sleepy too.
But at his front door, what's this he did see?
A present from Santa - the new Fall LP!
So Gary was muttering as he bid the evening farewell
"Happy Christmas to all - but especially listeners of WRFL."

Self Help Radio on tonight from 10 to midnight on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, & also online wherever Santa may be on wrfl dot fm.  Christmas tunes!

Preface To A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2013: My Take On This Whole Cultural Mess Of The Season (Part XIII)

Hey!  Can you believe it?  Someone or something barely famous (or really famous) did said tweeted implied something offensive!  Then someone who disagreed with me agreed with them!  That makes me so mad I've spent the afternoon in the "comments" section of every website I visit!

I am sometimes glad I watch the television show The Soup, so I can be vaguely aware of things that are happening in the culture that I manage to avoid.  Rich people who are famous for being famous, pop singers who no-one will remember a few years from now, & of course the "stars" of "reality" television.  One of whom said something offensive recently.  Which didn't offend me because I don't know who that person is & I don't think someone who's famous for being in a reality TV show has an opinion that I care to know.

The other thing I saw people upset about had something to do with musicians being inducted into some rock & roll awards thing.  I am always a little amused that otherwise sensible people pay attention to that - like the Grammys & other music awards shows, it's never really about how good or important the music is but how much money it has made the parasites in the music industry (I'm sorry, I meant "executives").  The music world suffers for that - commercial radio accounts for less than 1% of 1% of the music being made in the world, & so they naturally can't focus on the quality of music made.  It's all about moolah.

Christmas is, too, but like with popular culture, I don't generally participate.  Except with my Christmas show.  Which I need to go work on bye!

Trans Atlantic Anti-Galactic Power Chord Squadron XTT (Captured In Action)

Meeting room site undisclosed: somehow we missed the instructions and have landed instead over there.

That's Mitch, he insists on being called a quadroon instead of squadron leader and so far no one has corrected him because he's also scary.

No one brought enough ice cream for everyone and I know I will be left out.

This implant will enable you to transmit your coordinates whether or not you're conscious and I don't care if you're 'anti-vax' we're fucking putting it in your neck.

No cell reception out here; we need a better satellite.

Brian wants to make first contact and he imagines it will be all sort of awkward, like bumping into a beautiful woman at a party, relying upon charm to save the situation.

Injury du jour: torn rotator cuff.

Motherfucker thinks he's funny, he keep saying "brought to you by" and then some dumbass made-up company like "sticky's licorice" or "cream's corn dogs."

How did they know there was an invasion I mean we can barely figure out whether some rock the size of Manhattan is about to hit us and you're talking about an other-worldly alien invasion.

Computer says "holes in dimensional fabric spotted over Albuquerque," prompting at least half the squad to make Bugs Bunny jokes.

Teeth are grit - gritted - gret? - what's the past tense of "to grit"?

Invaders burst into our reality, then fall from the sky in the shape of teardrops, evaporating before hitting the ground.

"No one was expecting that," Mitch says, "it's a bit of a let-down."

Instant congressional hearing - those toys cost the taxpayers a lot of money!

Mitch pats his back & tells him, "You would've kicked their asses - if they had had asses."

Self Help Radio 121313: Gary's Favorite Music Of 2013

I haven't been listening to what America has been listening to, which I think is just fine.  They can debate what is "the best" & "the most important" etc. & I'll just share what I've listened to most.  If only we all had a radio show, we wouldn't need this sort of conversation!

The entire show + an hour more (I am terrible at whittling down lists) at Self Help Radio website.  Or go directly to part one or part two or part three, & look below, I saw what's in each part.

Make your own radio show & share what your favorites are!

(part one)

"Bad Skin" Hunx & His Punx _Street Punk_
"Keep Exhaling" Wire _Change Becomes Us_
"True Vulture" Nobunny _Secret Songs: Reflections From The Ear Mirror_
"They're Feeding" Terry Malts _Nobody Realizes This Is Nowhere_
"Boys To Men" Bent Shapes _Feels Weird_

"Amorator!" The Fall _The Remainderer_
"Awake" Iceage _You're Nothing_
"Girls Like Us" Julie Ruin _Run Fast_
"No Tic, All Tac" Tullycraft _Lost In Light Rotation_
"Into Blue" Frankie Rose _Herein Wild_

"Hot Sour Salty Sweet" The Dirtbombs _Ooey Gooey Chewy Ka-Blooey!_
"Karaoke" Spectrals _Sob Story_
"Date It" Golden Grrrls _Golden Grrrls_
"Meditations" Holograms _Forever_
"Pretend To Be Brave" Boat _Pretend To Be Brave_

"Tripwire" Elvis Costello & The Roots _Wise Up Ghost & Other Songs_
"Parallel" MomusMcClymont _MomusMcClynont_

(part two)

"Check My Heart" The Pastels _Slow Summits_
"Is That Enough" Yo La Tengo _Fade_

"Age Of Victoria" The Secret History _Americans Singing In The Dark_
"Living, Loving, Partygoing" Future Bible Heroes _Partygoing_
"Just To Be Like You" Ski Lodge _Big Heart_
"A Sex Maybe" Mike Birbiglia _My Girlfriend's Boyfriend_

"Q&A: Advice For The Audience" Eugene Mirman _An Evening Of Comedy In A Fake, Underground Laboratory_
"Signal 30" Public Service Broadcasting _Inform - Educate - Entertain_
"Boo Hoo" Dot Wiggin Band _Ready! Get! Go!_
"Delicate Cycle" The Uncluded _Hokey Fright_

"Canned Tomatoes (Whole)" Courtney Barnett _The Double EP: A Sea Of Split Peas_
"When He Tells Me" Colleen Green _Sock It To Me_
"Wind-Up" Pity Sex _Feast of Love_

(part three)

"Mermaids" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _Push The Sky Away_
"Hypnotic Regression" Girls Names _The New Life_
"Sound Of A Void" Wax Idols _Discipline & Desire_
"Cri Du Coeur" Camera Obscura _Desire Lines_
"Marbled Birds" The Mantles _Long Enough To Leave_

"Better Luck Next Time" King Khan & The Shrines _Idle No More_
"Love Isn't A Right" Momus _Bambi_
"No One Knows Nothing Anymore" Billy Bragg _Tooth & Nail_
"Graveyard" Joanna Gruesome _Weird Sister_
"Suicide Pact" Tochigi _Tochigi_

"Ark Of Life" Minks _Tides End_
"Perfect World" The Proctors _Everlasting Light_
"Canteen" Superhumanoids _Exhibitionists_
"Musicians Are Scum" Pere Ubu _Lady from Shanghai_
"Paul's Not Home" Gibby Haynes _Paul's Not Home_

"Job" Iggy & The Stooges _Ready To Die_
"You Are A Lion, I Am A Lamb" Ex Cops _True Hallucinations_
"Borrowed Time" Parquet Courts _Light Up Gold_
"Sir William Wray" The Fall _Re-Mit_

Whither Gary's Favorite Music 2013

Every year, the same old thing.  I sometimes think I should do this like a list or a countdown - but that's so hard to do.  Until I time myself - I must've listened to this record one hundred times but it seems I only listened to it ninety-three times! - I'll never know how to numerically represent my favorites.  I do know (like I talked about yesterday) you're not going to hear the things every seems to agree were the BEST of 2013.  I don't even agree with something as democratic (but with metalheads over-representing) as rate your music dot com, which has Sigur Ros, Peter Brotzmann, & Boards of Canada in the top three slots.  & even though I really haven't listened to any of those, I think it's safe to say those are better than Kanye West, Miley Cyrus, & Vampire Weekend, who are all supported by giant corporations who give critics all the copies they want, plus other swag, for free.  No wonder they end up on year-end lists!

I'm too cynical.  Listen to me say night things about bands I love tonight from ten p.m. to midnight on 88.1 fm in Lexington & online at wrfl dot fm.  I found so much music that I loved that I might add more to the show when I finally put it up at the Self Help Radio website.

Preface To Gary's Favorite's 2013: Other People Know Better

I can only conclude, after a short sampling of "best of" lists, that I am really almost completely out of touch with what people think is "good."  Did I say "people"?  I meant "critics."

The Rolling Stone list actually has two or three records I liked (out of maybe six I actually listened to), but - this is the bizarre thing - they include classic-rock-types (like Paul McCartney & David Bowie) as well as hip hop & country & pop.  Is it me or should these not even be in competition?  Are there radio stations (besides non-commercial ones) who'll play Keith Urban & Nine Inch Nails back-to-back?  You get the impression they're trying to appeal to a wider audience somehow…

The Bowie record, which is on their list, isn't bad; it's just dull.  Bowie fans want to like it, which probably also explains the Paul McCartney placement.  Vampire Weekend's new one is number one on the Rolling Stone list, which is weird, because everyone at RFL who played claimed to hate it.  My feeling is, it'll be forgotten in several years - like, I'm afraid, most of the things of this list.  Right now, though, I get the impression they're there because they made some important people a lot of money.

NPR's list forgoes the "best of" (they got that from me) & also includes electronica & jazz.  The question again is: why not have different lists?  Surely there's someone out there who thinks a particular metal CD is better than something like Blood Orange!  Why make those dudes (& you know they're all dudes) feel even more excluded than they already feel?

Pitchfork says "best" but the title is actually "highest-rated."  Does anyone read Pitchfork anymore?  Since when?

Spin has a lot more hip hop than the others.  Is that now who buys Spin?  White guys who like hip hop?

It's not strange to me that nothing I like makes the top 25 or whatever any more.  I have never had my finger on the pulse of what people like.  Well, maybe when I listened to commercial radio, some time before 1989 or so.  Even then, I was liking bands that now seem popular - Cure, Smiths, etc. - but then were "weird" or "obscure."  The first time I played the Smiths in a car with one of my classic-rock-raised brothers, he thought it was a joke.  Like something off of Dr. Demento.

All of which means nothing - opinion is opinion.  If you like to have your opinions backed up by magazines & websites, then you can see if they agree with you.  But the term "best" - it doesn't make any sense this early on.  My own opinion is that a lot of these records will, in a decade or so, be completely forgotten.

Today's Figure Of Speech: Bdelygmia

Spellcheck don't know this word: bdelgymia.  & why should it?  It's a heartless, unthinking, unfeeling, crappily compiled, moronically written, basic to the point of stupid piece of code in the middle of an unsatisfying, poorly-designed, horribly executed so-called What You See Is the Worst You Get content management system.

Not really.  I was just employing the bdelgymia.  It basically means a litany of abuse, sort of like what Michael Palin gets when he accidentally walks into the Abuse room while looking for the Argument room.  Graham Chapman describes him as a "vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!"

This page has a lot more examples.

I don't really know how to pronounce it, though.

Self Help Radio 120613: A Touch Of Velvet

Beginning a new tradition: radio shows about fabrics!  I can't wait for some enterprising deejay to do one about gingham!

Show is at web site.  Or it's in two parts, called part one & then part two.  List of songs below.

So lustrous!

(part one)

"Velvet" PBNJ Buchanan _Velvet Blue_
"Soft Velvety 'Fer" MC Honky _I Am The Messiah_
"Velvet Pants" Propellorheads _Decksanddrumsandrockandroll_

"The Velvet Glove" Jerry Colonna _The Velvet Glove_
"A Touch Of Velvet, A Sting Of Brass" Mood Mosaic _The Swingin' Sixties_
"Velvet Illusions" Velvet Illusions _Pebbles, Vol. 9: Southern California 2_
"Velvet Sunsets" The Music Emporium _The Music Emporium_
"Velvet Cave" Silver Apples _Silver Apples_

"Velvet Goldmine" David Bowie _The Rise & Fall Of Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars_
"Some Velvet Morning" Lydia Lunch & Roland S. Howard _Some Velvet Morning_
"Velvet Launderette" Poison Girls _Statement: The Complete Recordings_
"Black Velvet" Swell Maps _Train Out Of It_

"Black Velvet" The Lilac Time _The Lilac Time_
"Velvet Days" Kristin Hersh _Hips & Makers_

(part two)

"Orpheus In Red Velvet" Marc Almond _Enchanted_
"Deep Velvet" Chris & Cosey _Trust_

"Torn Green Velvet Eyes" The Magnetic Fields _Holiday_
"Deep In Velvet" Phillip Boa & Voodooclub _Boa Best Singles_
"Velvt Atmosphere" Peppermint _Keep Your Chin Up There, Sailor_

"Paint Me On Velvet" Austin Lounge Lizards _Paint Me On Velvet_
"Deadweight On Velveteen" Jose Gonzalez _Veneer_
"Another Velvet Nightmare" Frank Black _Honeycomb_

"Velvet Morning" Weird Dreams _Choreography_
"Velveteen" The Rose Of Avalanche _Indie Top 20 Vol. 1_
"Velvet Itch" Bass Drum Of Death _GB City_

Whither A Touch Of Velvet?

I promise, I had this show planned before dear old Lou Reed left us.  I can't say what I had been listening to that brought me to the decision to make a radio show about a fabric - perhaps my first radio show about a fabric.  (I should keep better records.)

I don't think I own anything that's velvet.  Let me ask my wife.  She says no.  Oh well.  I do like the way it feels!

The Self Help Radio show I'm calling "a touch of velvet" will be on tonight (Friday) from 10pm til midnight.  On 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, or online at wrfl dot fm.

I will probably use the word "lustrous" a lot.

Preface To A Touch Of Velvet: RIP Nelson Mandela

As I started to write this, I learned that Nelson Mandela has died.  It's hard to be serious about a dumb radio show in light of such news.

I wrote on the Facebook that he was one of my lifetime's real heroes.  Like a lot of indie kids growing up in the 1980s, I learned about him from the Specials' song.  I think, for me specifically, it was because Elvis Costello produced it that it found its way into my head - I was a huge Elvis fan & otherwise knew nothing about South Africa at the time.  Later, of course, was the big Artists United Against Apartheid song "Sun City," which, it turns out, I'm lucky to have heard, since half of American stations wouldn't play it because it criticized Reagan.

I took a class in my last year of college, in 1991, which was about the literature of South Africa.  I can't remember the professor's name - I think he was Dutch - he died some time in the 1990s - but the general feel of the apartheid literature was that it wouldn't end without a bloodbath.  Or at least some violence.  Thinking now about the character of Nelson Mandela, it's a wonder the requisite doubts we had were so great.

I don't have much to say - never been to South Africa, you know - maybe never will (although the wife has, & she's loved it).  Just remembering the unforgettable, the greatness & humility & strength of Nelson Mandela.  What a life!

The Invention Of The Glitch

Meet Elmo Notio, the inventor of the glitch.
Before Elmo, they say, things went off without a hitch!
(Mainly because no one knew Price Robert Fitch
Who promoted, not invented, the wonderful hitch.)
So people went without, they'd moan, they'd bitch,
Some person might scratch, the other might itch.
A friend, then, to Elmo Notio did snitch:
"Do you see what happens when they throw the switch?
It's lovely! It's perfect!  Why, it makes me twitch!"
"Hmmp," said young Elmo, "a dreadful sales pitch.
I'm a poor, young inventor who longs to be rich!"
But Elmo & his friend, whose name was Mitch,
Visited a local consortium, which
Advised them to find their own personal niche.
& Elmo, who felt his life was in the ditch,
Abandoned old Mitch to his despair & his twitch,
& decided he must the perfect workplace enrich.
At home he worked furiously, like a tailor on a stitch,
He cackled like crazy, high & wicked, like a witch,
Till suddenly, by accident, he invented the glitch!
In days of old, things now rare, like perfect pitch,
Were as common as nostalgia, & irony, & kitsch.
All because of Elmo Notio, & his ubiquitous glitch.
(Also, you'll know, things go off with a hitch.
No one is more happy than Price Robert Fitch.)
Glitches are everywhere, & as much as you'd wish
They failed to make poor Elmo Notio rich.

Self Help Radio 112930: Magda's Birthday Show 2013

Wife: It's my birthday! It's my birthday!
Me: Happy birthday!
Wife: Not good enough.  Radio show, please.
Me: But...  I've done one for you for seven years!
Wife: More, please.
Me: I'm running out of birthday songs!
Wife: More more more, please.
Me: Oh all right.
Wife: It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

Radio show:
Or directly: part I | part II
Birthday songs: below
Any repeats? Not allowed.

Happy birthday to everyone!

(part one)

"Happy Birthday" The Luddites _Detroit Musician Alliance: Motor CD_
"(Gimme That) Lipstick" Gruppo Sportivo _10 Mistakes / Buddy Odor Is A Gas_
"Birthday Song" André Herman D¨ne _Taglich Brot_

"Born Never Asked" Laurie Anderson _Big Science_
"Birthday Girl" Frontier Ruckus _Eternity Of Dimming_
"The Birthday Girl" Nobunny _Secret Songs: Reflections From The Ear Mirror_
"Happy Birthday" Cloud Control _Dream Cave_

"Birthday" Blur _Leisure_
"The Birthday Party" Don Gillmor, Michelle Campagne, Davy Gallant, & Marie-Louise Gay _The Fabulous Song_
"Spring Break (Birthday Song)" Ex Cops _True Hallucinations_
"Birthday Song" Blaine L Reininger _Night Air_

"Today It Is My Birthday" Synthetic Socks _Today It Is My Birthday_
"The Unbirthday Song" Dennis Day _Happy Birthday To You_
"Fiddler's Birthday Party" Benny Martin _Big Daddy Of The Fiddle & Bow_

(part two)

"Happy Birthday Darlin'" Conway Twitty _Cross Winds_
"Birthday Kiss" Spectrals _Fair Ohs / Spectrals 7"_
"Birthday" Royal Canoe _Today We're Believers_

"Why Can't My Dolly Have A Birthday Party?" The Bran Flakes _Hey Won't Somebody Come & Play?_
"At The Birthday Party" Bablicon _In A Different City_
"Bad Birthday" Skip That Birthday Party _Girls Rock Camp Alliance: 2010 International Camper Band Compilation_
"Happy Birthday Ralph" Atom & His Package _Hair: Debatable_
"Fat, Dumb, & Happy Birthday" Bob Marley _Upta Camp_
"Happy Birthday" Beep Beep _Enchanted Islands_

"Birthday Fella" Marva Josie _Girls On 45: A Collection Of Girl Groups, Girlie Pop & Soulful Ladies_
"(Happy Birthday) Mr. Twenty One" The Orlons _The Wah-Watusi + South Street_
"21" The Lucksmiths _Boondoggle_
"Romans" Minks _Tides End_

"Happy Country Birthday Darling" Rodney Lay & The Wild West _Happy Country Birthday Darling_
"Happy Birthday" Ben Morris & The Great American Boxcar Chorus _There Is No Fun In Funeral_
"Birthday" Sheepdogs _Learn & Burn_