Whither Start Again?

(Image from here.)

"Start again"?  Wait a second!  I have two important questions here!

Okay, fire away.

One: didn't you already do a show about starting?

Yes, that show happened in 2015, & you can see the playlist by clicking here.

I knew it!  & two: doesn't it say on your website "a new start"?  Isn't that supposed to be the theme?

It does.  However, I had completely forgotten I had originally done a "start" show.

Of course you did.

So it seemed wise to avoid what I had originally played by changing the theme to "start again."

How is that different?

You'll see.

See?

You'll hear.

When can I hear it?

Glad you asked!  Tomorrow morning from 6-8am!

Where can I hear it?

In Portland at 90.3 + 89.3 fm, & online everywhere at Freeform Portland dot org.

Why can I hear it?

Because you have ears?

6am tomorrow - hey!  That's like a little over half a day away!

Don't remind me!

Self Help Radio 083019: Indiepop A To Z # 60

(Most, if not all, of the images came from Discogs.)

Here it is, the latest indiepop a to z installment (we're at the letter N now).  It's also the last pre-recorded Self Help Radio for a time, as Self Help Radio goes live on the air on Monday at 6am on Freeform Portland.  It's exciting!

This show is full of twee & jangle & is a delight from start to finish.  I can say that, because I was there.  You can listen now & whenever at the Self Help Radio web site.  Use the username SHR & pass the password selfhelp to listen.  It's a bit over two hours long & look at the songs I played below!

Enjoy!

Self Help Radio Indiepop A To Z # 60
"Head Over Heels" My Raining Stars _From St. Saviour To Quickwell_
"To Live & Die In The Airport Lounge" My Teenage Stride _Ears Like Golden Bats_
"Sure, Bert" Mystic Chords Of Memory _Mystic Chords Of Memory_

"20.000 Veces" Nadadora _Dinámico Y Estático_
"Heh Someone" Names For Pebbles _Something Cool_
"1000 Tears" Mark Narkowicz _Library Records 1998 - 2003: Disc One, The 7" Single Years, 1998 - 2000_
"Love House" Nautical William _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 4_
"Ghost" Neats _Neats_

"Get Away Sometimes" Neighborhood Dilemma _Shreds, Vol. 2: American Underground '94_
"So Long" Neil Armstrong _You Thought It Was The End Of The World When The Rain Ruined Your Hair_
"Plastic Sky" Nelories _Mellow Yellow Fellow Nelories_
"Hanging On The Telephone" The Nerves _One Way Ticket_
"Touch Wood" Nervous Curve _You Can't Be Loved Forever, Vol. 3_

"Don't Look" Nervus Rex _Singles: The Great New York Singles Scene_
"Make Believe" Netorare Fan Club _Make Believe_
"Holland, 1945" Neutral Milk Hotel _In The Aeroplane Over The Sea_
"Coconut Shampoo" Neverever _Angelic Swells_
"Turnaround" Neverland _Sometimes_

"Josh Has A Crush On A Femme From Reed" New Bad Things _Freewheel!_
"Age Of Consent" New Order _Power, Corruption & Lies_
"Trash" New York Dolls _New York Dolls_
"ExpoFacto15" New York School Poets _This Is Stereophonic Sunshine_
"Come Back To Edinburgh" The Newcolours _Be Serious!_

"The Jangling Man" Martin Newell _The Greatest Living Englishman_
"Holding On My Hand" The Newpolitans _Holding On My Hand/Ducktown 7"_
"An Englishman" Newsflash _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 2_
"Feeling So Real" Next Time Passions _You Make Me Smile_
"Did I Do Wrong?" Nice System _Impractical Guide To The Opposite Sex_

"Hold On" Nightblooms _24 Days At Catastrofe Café_
"Acid In Your Face" The Nightjars _Acid In Your Face_
"Eddie Lopez Lives In Slough" Nine Steps To Ugly _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 5_
"Bring On The Dancing Horses" Ninety Nine _Pretty In Pop_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 60?

Wow, sixty?  Really?  & what letter are we on?  Finishing M?  Starting N?

It's actually really fortuitous that this is the last show before Self Help Radio debuts on Portland radio, because if I had started the show early, I would not be doing an indiepop a to z.  I would not have made something like this series my first or second or third show.  I would've waited until December.

It just occurred to me that the very last Self Help Radio I did in Texas was an indiepop a to z episode. So it's been four months since then.  I've missed a few weeks here & there, haven't I?  That will not be an option for me going forward!

Anyway, I do this every four months.  Until I die.  I suspect the letter N will not take as many shows as the letter M.  Just from what I've gathered for tomorrow's show.

& then, omigosh!  It's another Self Help Radio in three days!

PS This is the 3,200th post on this blog.  I wonder if anyone even reads these?  Like, what did I write here six years ago?  Shall I look?  It's here.

August 29, 2013, was a Thursday, the day before an episode of Self Help Radio, & I was going to be doing Indiepop A To Z # 41.  I was moving to Friday nights at ten.  I forget why.  No one really listened then.  I think I worked better in the mornings.  & guess what?  I'm going back there Monday!

Preface To This Week's Show: The Power Of No

There's something about me that you may not know: I'm a coward.

It was probably instilled in me - if it isn't something deep in my DNA - by my mother, the architect of much of what I am.  She made me afraid of being hurt, which probably led to my fear of confrontation (which often leads to physical violence), which resulted in me being basically afraid of, you know, anything that might lead me to being beaten up, attacked, whatever.

That's not necessarily a bad thing - who wants to be a punching bag?  But of course we as a culture admire the person that stands up & fights back.  That's really not me.

The thing is, I often encounter folks who assert things - & usually they're in positions of authority - which I know are wrong.  I will say to these people, "I don't think that's true."  They will double down on their assertions.  Tonight I came across that.  I asked if there were evidence of the assertion, which was this: "It's been my experience in every place this came up."

If it seems I'm being vague, just understand it has to do with noncommercial radio & be thankful you're not bored by the details.

This has happened to me a lot recently.  I am so tentative in my slight incursions into the different radio environments here in Portland that I make a simple suggestion & I recoil when met with a definitive no.  The thing is - I am giving the power to that no.  Most people will confidently say things  as if speaking for an entire without really knowing what that group thinks.  & I keep coming across that, again & again.

Do you know, I first became involved in radio about twenty-five years ago this month?  It's true!  & for that entire time I wish I could've just been this guy who did a show, didn't get too involved, helped out when he could, was a team player.  But it's not me.  I wanted to somehow make it easier for more people to get involved, for the station itself to thrive, for everyone to have the same experience I did.

This led to some problems but I think it's been more positive than not.

The reason to mention this is that I was at a meeting tonight where I was confronted with more "no" than "yes."  I have decided I won't let this stop me anymore.  I'm going to carefully ignore the "no" & focus on the "yes."

Might it be too early to do so?  Probably.  Will it be difficult?  Oh sure.

Is it absolutely necessary for me?  Oh yes.

Griefitti

The other day I saw some graffiti on a doorway while driving home.  There's lots of graffiti here in Portland.  Most of it is just tags, you know, as it says in the Urban Dictionary, "a personal signature, usually vandalism with spraypaint, but can be any graffiti."  I don't have any real opinion about the legality of graffiti, perhaps because I don't really believe in personal property; or rather, I feel there's tremendous truth in the anarchist slogan "property is theft."  I of course judge it according to whether I like it.  From my point of view, as someone with mostly nothing, I find the ways people deal with graffiti fascinating, & of course I find beautiful graffiti stunning.

Anyway, I saw this tag which was simply someone's name, mostly recognizable, written over & over, like a child might do in a workbook learning cursive, only, you know, this was on a doorway.  & the name was the same of the name of a friend, so I took a picture (I was waiting at a light, & wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been - the doorway was sunken into the wall of the side of a building) & sent it to him.  I asked, "Is this your tag?  It seems sad."

I continued, "Not sad in execution, sad in feeling it is meant to convey."  I guess I didn't want to offend him.

He hadn't responded, so I just wrote, "Sad tagger."

& then, "Griefitti."

This friend usually hates puns, says they're the lowest form of humor, but he acknowledged it was a nice word I had (possibly?) coined.

Last night a friend from an old radio station wrote to me about how he wasn't dealing very well with David Berman's death.  I wrote what powerless words of consolation I could.  As we get older, we carry more & more death behind us.

I should've encouraged him to get some spraypaint & work on his tag.  He's an artist of sorts, I'm sure he'd make a good one (if he hasn't already).  Mine would be simple & pretty sad in execution.  Also, I'd get caught right away, possibly because I'd do something dumb like tag someplace nearby & write my name in very simple script.

& it would be my own name.  Recently, in getting involved at Freeform Portland, I was asked what my "deejay name" was.  I've never had a deejay name.  I've always been just Gary.  Now, of course, I'm referred to as "DJ Gary" in emails.

This began somewhere & ended somewhere else.  Such is my mind these days.

In One Week

In one week, Self Help Radio makes its Portland debut.  I'm sure you've heard.  It's weird, it seems so far away & yet I know it's simply seven (really six) days away.

Listen: time has been weird to me here.  We arrived here about three & a half months ago but I could swear I've lived here longer.  In a way, I long for the continual gloom & rain I have heard so much about, the summer has been mostly dry, & bright, & clement.

Am I doing anything special for the show?  Sort of, but not really.  I actually haven't even started working on it, since I have the Indiepop A To Z show to do this week.  That is probably a bad sign.

There is one thing I will not miss: recording my own airbreaks.  Oh jumpin' jeebus on a jet place that takes so much time.  I prefer to do them live & by gum I will be doing them live.  I think it might also let me focus on the music more, since I'll have time to do so - a lot of my calculus about putting together a podcast naturally takes into account the time to record & edit.  But no more!

This is all a bit too navel-gazey for me but I did look up from my life tonight & realize next Monday will be something different for me.  As my dad used to say to me: Don't fuck it up, boy!

He had a way with words.

Self Help Radio 082319: There's No Self Help Radio 082319

Yeah, I was sick all week & didn't make a new show.  I'm sorry about that.  There'll be one last podcast next week & then the show returns to the airwaves Monday, September 2, at 6am.  So in a sense, you don't get a new Self Help Radio this week, but you get two new episodes next week.

However, should you really need to hear me play songs for a theme, you can do so anyway, as before I got too ill, I took lots of cold medicine & did my first sub show on xray.fm.  It was National Radio Day & the theme was, well, radio.  You can find the show at the Self Help Radio website or just go to the XRAY page which is here.  What I played is below.

Again, apologies for not forging through the sickness.  See you in a week!

Self Help Radio Radio Show
"Corporate Standardized Programming" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"Roadrunner" The Modern Lovers _The Modern Lovers_
"Rock & Roll" The Velvet Underground _Loaded_

"Having A Party" Sam Cooke _The Man & His Music_
"Do You Remember Rock & Roll Radio?" The Ramones _Hey! Ho! Let's Go: The Anthology_
"Raised On Radio" Slimer _In Their Eyes: '90s Teen Bands Vs. '80s Teen Movies_
"Around The Dial" The Kinks _Give The People What They Want_
"Caroline's Radio" Bubblegum Lemonade _Sophomore Release_

"Radio, Radio (Capital Radio Version)" Elvis Costello _This Year's Model_
"FM" The Mountain Goats _Sweden_
"Summer Pop Radio" Helen Love _Radio Hits Vol. 1_
"Oh Yeah" Roxy Music _Flesh + Blood_
"Video Killed The Radio Star" Bruce Woolley & The Camera Club _English Garden_

"Transmission" Joy Division _Substance 1977-1980_
"This Is Radio Clash" The Clash _Clash On Broadway_
"Turn Off Your Radio" The Essentials _Fast Music In A Slow Town EP_
"Left Of The Dial" The Replacements _Tim_
"Mexican Radio" El Vez _Graciasland_

"My Radio (AM Mix)" Stars _Nightsongs_
"Radio" Felix Da Housecat _Virgo, Blaktro, & The Movie Disco_
"Heard It On The Radio" The Bird & The Bee _Interpreting The Masters Volume 1: A Tribute To Daryl Hall & John Oates_
"Yesterday Once More" Redd Kross _If I Were A Carpenter_
"DJ" David Bowie _Lodger_

"Caravan" Van Morrison _Moondance_
"Radio" Hackamore Brick _One Kiss Leads To Another_
"On The Radio" Tom Selleck's Moustache _Heartbreak 101_
"Radio" Teenage Fanclub _Thirteen_
"On The Radio" Mind Spiders _Meltdown_

Yeah, This Week Wouldn't Have Worked

This morning I ventured outside for the first time in over a day to walk the dogs.  I got a little woozy but made it through.  My voice sounds like me making fun of Ned Dry.

Here's the thing: my wife had this all last week, & she went to work & taught people.  I need to go conduct a training session at Freeform Portland tonight & I don't know if I'm going to be able to make the drive.

Last week's Last Week Tonight talked about bias in medicine, & although I don't recall if they covered this - but I have always assumed that when it comes to pain, woman are just stronger than men.  It might just be me, but I am waylaid by the smallest discomfort.

& when I feel a cold coming on, I know the best thing to do is take some medication & try to sleep it off.  Except this week I really, really wanted to do a show on XRAY.  & I really, really wanted to do training.  So I settled for scuttling Self Help Radio & spending Wednesday in a haze.

It's all for the best - my show is shabby enough as it is.  I need to go try not to infect new deejays as I train them & then I hope to sleep twelve hours tonight.

Still Quite Ill & In No Way Presentable

The neighbors are having a neighborhood gathering (well, it's basically just four houses) & have invited us over.  The wife is at work & I have been dozing in bed, decongestants in my system, my weird dreams nowhere near as interesting as they were last night when I had a fever.

This occurred to me sometime this morning: it's interesting that we don't do things to induce fevers because the thoughts & hallucinations I have when my temperature is up seem as provocative & strange as the least of my experiences with psychedelics, so many moons ago.  In that sense, I kind of anticipate fevers in a hungry way, although of course I know they're much, much more dangerous than acid or mushrooms.  & oh look, I've answered my own question.

There was no way I could sit in front of the computer today so I guess I'm going to cancel this week's show.  It's for the best - I can spend more time on my first on-air show in forever (!) & also on my last podcast, which is the indiepop a to z series.

Gosh, I need to go back to sleep right now.

Sick As A Dog

Filled up with meds & sucked cough drops so I was able to do the XRAY fm show, but am now in the full throes of a cold.  Will hopefully sleep all day tomorrow & maybe won't be able to do this week's show.  But I'll post the show I did today - a Self Help Radio-type show I never did, a show about the radio, since it was National Radio Day.  Now.  I think I have a fever.  I will get ready for chills & that weirdly beautiful moment when the fever breaks.  Good night.

It Figures

Tomorrow I have my first show on XRAY FM & today I woke up with a sore throat.

This doesn't mean I won't do the show, but it does mean I spent most of the day sucking cough drops & feeling like something worse was just around the corner.  So far, so good.

The wife had a sore throat last week & I refused to stop kissing her.  Today she blamed my sickness on the fact that she eats from the serving spoons when she's making our dinner plates.  This may need some explanation:

The one who cooks around here is me.  When everything is ready, the wife takes over & "makes our plates," which means she puts the food I've prepared on plates (& in tupperware for the leftovers).  She does this ostensibly because she wants to control our portion sizes & because she makes it look prettier than I could but her ulterior motive is to eat more of the food when she's putting it onto the plates.  For example, if I've made some kind of sandwich spread, she'll put it on the bread but take bites in-between.

It may surprise you that I know all this & haven't put a stop to it, but it makes her happy.  We always make too much food.  "The art of cooking for two is lost on me & you," as the poet says.

What I find amusing is that she thinks this particular thing is what has caused me to get something close to the same illness she had.  Not, you know, the kissing, or the fact that we live together & spend as much of the day as we can together.  Nope!  It's her "cheating" when she is putting our dinner together.

Okay, going to sleep early tonight.  Did you know tomorrow is National Radio Day?  What a fortuitous time for me to do my first XRAY show!

Self Help Radio 081619: Floating

(Image from here.)

It's at times like this, when the show is done & I'm wondering what I could've done to make it better, that I think about Muhammad Ali's maxim, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."  I wouldn't mind floating like a butterfly - they seem to be susceptible to the slightest of breezes - but of course when a honeybee stings you, she dies.  That seems not only unfair, but inappropriate.  Might I just float like a butterfly, & enjoy honey like a bee?  I'll bet eating while you're floating is fun.

Would you go up on one of those planes which gets just so high that you experience weightlessness?  Or would you go into space, just to float a bit?  I might.  Or I might just take the rest of the afternoon, fill a tub up with water, & float until it gets too cold, or too lukewarm anyway.

The show is done, though, so please, float over to it & have a listen.  It's mostly intangible but you can find it at the Self Help Radio website.  There'll be a username & password there, those are SHR & selfhelp.  The show has lots of music plus some ridiculous interviews which you can find out about by looking below.

Just don't float away.  If you can in fact float.  Which you probably can.

Self Help Radio Floating Show

"Floating" The Moody Blues _To Our Children's Children's Children_
"Floating (SSRU Demo)" Section 25 _Illuminus Illumina_
"Floating" Julee Cruse _Floating Into The Night_

introduction & definitions

"The Float" Hank Ballard & The Midnighters _All 20 Of Their Chart Hits 1953-1962_
"Float" Palindromes _Muy Muy Pop Yum Yum_
"Free-Floating Hostility, Part I" George Carlin _Back In Town_
"We Are Floating" Archie Bronson Outfit _Wild Crush_
"Does It Float" Dinosaur Jr _Dinosaur_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space" Spiritualized _Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space_
"California Floating In Space" Call & Response _Call & Response_
"Free-Floating Hostility, Part II" George Carlin _Back In Town_
"Floated In" Frankie Cosmos _Next Thing_
"Floaty" Petra Haden & Bill Frisell _Petra Haden & Bill Frisell_

Ned Dry makes his famous ice cream float
phone call from Mary Poppins' daughter

"Floating In A Vacuum" Plastic Mermaids _Suddenly Everyone Explodes_
"Floating In The Forth" Frightened Rabbit _The Midnight Organ Fight_
"Free-Floating Hostility, Part III" George Carlin _Back In Town_
"Floating In Space" The Apples In Stereo _Travellers In Space & Time_
"Floating By" The Red Button _She's About To Cross My Mind_

interview with poet Phineas Johnston

"Dead Man's Float" Sage Francis _Copper Gone_
"She Floated Away" Hüsker Dü _Warehouse: Songs & Stories_
"Free-Floating Hostility, Part IV" George Carlin _Back In Town_
"Float My Bed" Lorelei _Why Popstars Can't Dance_
"Float To The Top" Madder Rose _Tragic Magic_

conclusion & goodbye

"Floating" Xerox Feinberg _12 Big Hits (Of 1985)_
"We Float" PJ Harvey _Stories From The City Stories From The Sea_
"Floating Dream" The Peanut Butter Conspiracy _Spreading From The Ashes_

Whither Floating?

(This image from a terrifying article called Why Do Corpses Float?)

Just imagine this: you're floating.  It could be in warm water, it could be in the clouds.  You aren't expending any energy at all, you've given yourself up to whatever forces of nature will keep you afloat.  You feel lighter than air, you could be a leaf suspended in a gentle wind, or part of the very clouds in which you float.  That's a nice thing to imagine, right?  Calming, even relaxing.  It might even make you a little drowsy, the experience so pleasurable you imagine it would be nice to doze off in such a state.

That would be a mistake.  The safety you feel while floating is an illusion.  Suddenly you're taken under the water!  Or you begin to fall!  Gravity is again the master!  You cannot escape its ruthless hold no matter how hard you try.  You can struggle but there's a part of you that knows you're utterly doomed, your foolishness in believing you could float forever leading you to a painful, untimely end.

That feeling there, that sense that you made a horrible mistake & won't be able to correct it no matter how hard you try?  That's the normal emotional reaction to Self Help Radio, which this week will be about floating.  If you're strong enough to ignore that feeling, you probably also text & drive.  In which case, please listen!

It'll happen Friday at noon at Self Help Radio dot net.  It will not, alas, float in the air on radio waves - that's still a couple of weeks away.  But perhaps you'll welcome the sound waves floating into you as you listen, & as always standard disclaimers apply.

Preface To Floating: Recurring Dreams

Believe it or not, I used to have a recurring dream where I was floating.

This dream would usually happen at the apartment complex I lived in from the ages of around ten to fourteen.  They were called Villa Cordoba & I've written about them on this blog before, namely here & here.  I hadn't really thought about it before, but perhaps one of the reasons I dreamt about floating there is that I had actually seen the apartment complex from up high, as I often climbed trees which grew higher than the complex.

The apartments were in a square configuration, with the front doors looking out on all four sides, & each unit having a back patio.  The patio walls were solid, they looked like stucco but were perhaps made of concrete or even stone, I'm not sure.  You could clamber up onto the walls of the patios & jump onto trees in the complex, all of which grew inside (in the middle of the complex was a pool & a few apartments whose patios were in the front of the unit, outside the front door).  I wish I could remember what kind of trees they were, but they grew taller than the second story, as I said, & I could even see over the apartments to the middle school to the northeast & the back of the shopping center to the southeast.

In my dreams, I'm not flying, I'm floating.  Hovering, really.  There's no indication how I got up there, & friends & family below me - I'm floating higher than the apartments - don't seem at all impressed that I'm up there.  I recall that I have to strain to hear what they're talking about, & to yell to get their attention.  At some point in the dream, either someone asks me or I become concerned about the prospect of getting down.  I'm over two stories up & not really moving, just floating there.  The rest of the dream is all about how I get back to the ground - sometimes scarily, I just lose the ability to float; sometimes cleverly, I manage to get to a tree or a window; & sometimes skillfully, I figure out how to slowly descend.  In no cases do I actually hurt myself - I would usually wake up before that happened.

But I did write that I used to have this dream.  I haven't had it in years.  Probably not since my twenties, which is more than half my life ago.  But I had them enough to remember them vividly.  & like everything else I no longer experience, I realize now I miss them terribly.

In Case You're Keeping Score

Today I was trained at a third Portland radio station.  It went well, I think I could navigate the set-up, & I thanked the person who took the time to train me, & as I was driving home, I got a text:

Can you sub next Tuesday from 2-4pm?

My response was:

Wow! Sure!

(Not that I texted while I was driving!  No, I waited till I was stopped.  So I was texting while I was idling.)

That means that - if we arrived roughly three months ago - by this time next week I will have been trained at & deejayed at three different radio stations.  That's a personal record for me.

& almost certainly something Portland will soon be sick of.

T-Minus Three Weeks & Hey What Does T-Minus Even Mean?

It says here, "In a NASA countdown to a rocket launch, 'T-minus' translates to 'Time minus'; the T stands for the exact time at which the rocket is scheduled to be launched. In more technical terms, the T in T-minus is a designator for the main sequence countdown time that serves as the synchronization device for most of the equipment & procedures that must be completed before, during, & after the launch."

It appears I was wrong above.  I am writing this close to nine pm on Monday, August 12.  Self Help Radio's debut on Portland radio is at 6am Monday, September 2.  Which means it would be more proper to say "T-minus twenty days & fifteen hours."  Anything more specific would be weird, since I sometimes start writing these things, get distracted, & return much later.  But "T-Minus three weeks" is definitely incorrect.

It's weird to think that Self Help Radio will be back on the air.  I am trying to think of something special to do but to be honest it's best to be as normal as possible.  The theme will be "a new start" but nothing will be terribly new about the show.  Except I'll be doing it live!  That's so exciting!

This week I wasn't able to snag any sub shows so it'll be a week without me irritating Portland radio.  Myself, I spent the day listening to songs about floating.  There are lots of electronica tunes about floating.  It's a theme that lends itself to pretty electronica.  Should I do an all-instrumental show one day?  I probably have before, but I don't know if I should try it again especially when I'm about to be introduced to the Portland airwaves.

These are things I think about all the damn time.  Sometimes instead of doing something.

One last thing: I just watched a film about a person who was in an awful relationship with a junkie & at the end (no spoilers, I won't tell you the film), the junkie died - ODed - & I thought, "That's the happiest ending, isn't it?  The junkie dies."  This is despite me knowing a couple of people who would self-describe as junkies who managed to kick it & not destroy themselves.  Maybe I should rethink my own attitudes about people with addiction.

Anyway.  T-minus what?  I can't be expected to keep up with this!

Self Help Radio 080919: Feathers

(Original image here.)

Feathers! They're used for flying, they keep birds warm, & they keep birds dry.  & if that isn't what you want out of a radio show, I don't know what is.  The Self Help Radio promise: this show about feathers will help you fly, keep you warm, or keep you dry.  You don't get to choose which, however.  & only one function per show!

This is an extremely silly show & I am tempted to call it plucky but I'm afraid you'll notify the Pun Police, so I need to get to the show without feather ado.

You can listen now & whenever you like at Self Help Radio dot net.  There is as usual a password & a username, & those are selfhelp & SHR respectively.  The show is just under two hours long & everything that happens, including the interviews, are listed below.

Please don't consider me giving you this the show the same as giving you the bird.  & oh dear, I've been arrested by the Pun Police.

Self Help Radio Feathers Show

"The Devil & The Feathery Wife" Nick Dow _Burd Margaret_
"Birds Of A Feather" The Orange Peels _2020_
"I Feel Like A Feather In The Breeze" Dean Martin _Memories Are Made Of This_

introduction & definitions

"Mice & Feathers" 63 Crayons _Good People_
"Feather From The Sun" Blue Orchids _The Once & Future Thing_
"Birds Of A Feather" Mike Stewart & The Stable Hands _Mister Ed The Talking Horse "Straight From The Horse's Mouth"_
"More Feathers" Fading Tribesmen _The Essential Pebbles Collection, Vol. 2: Still More Ultimate '66 Garage Classics!_
"Two Ton Feather" Dion _The Road I'm On: A Retrospective_

Marge Most interrupts!

"Birds Of A Feather" Joe South _Games People Play_
"Feathers" Lee Hazlewood _Poet, Fool, Or Bum_
"Mr. Feathers" Elvis Costello & The Imposters _Momofuku_
"Grow Feathers" Coyle & Sharpe _Audio Visionaries: Street Pranks & Put-Ons_
"Feather By Feather" Smog _Supper_

interview with human with feathers Albus Shariaty

"Feathered Fish" Sons Of Adam _Pebbles, Vol. 2_
"The Feathered Tiger" Kaleidoscope _Faintly Blowing_
"Funny Feathers" Victoria Spivey _Louis Armstrong & The Blues Singers_
"Somewhere There's A Feather" Nico _Chelsea Girl_
"Paste Me On Some Feathers" Sammi Smith _Sunshine_

interview with trendspotter Duke Simpson

"Feather Bed" Cannon's Jug Stompers _Before The Blues, Vol. 3 (The Early American Black Music Scene)_
"That Old Feather Bed On The Farm" Gene Autry _That Silver Haired Daddy Of Mine_
"Grandma's Feather Bed" The New Kingston Trio _The World Needs A Melody_
"Feather Bed" Fruit Bats _The Ruminant Band_
"Featherframe" Pale Saints _In Ribbons_

conclusion & goodbye

"Shake A Tail Feathers" The Five Du-Tones _Beg, Scream, & Shout! The Big Ol' Box Of '60s Soul_
"Feathers Oar Blades" Cocteau Twins _Lullabies To Violaine_
"Chicken & Feathers" Nick Lowe _The Abominable Showman_
"Feather Falling" Kelley Stoltz _Que Aura_
"Fuzzy Feather" Sad Day For Puppets _Pale Silver & Shiny Gold_
"One Black Feather" The Last Names _Wilderness_

Whither Feathers?

(Image from here.)

Gosh, I don't honestly know why the show this week is about feathers.  How embarrassing is that!  I've just been operating as though I should do a show about feathers, & I'm therefore putting together a show about feathers, & it seems like the most natural thing in the world.

Can I tell you what I find the weirdest thing about birds?  I have never felt like one should keep birds - I kinda like it when people walk around with parrots on the shoulders & what-not - but I don't think I'd want to have one as a pet.  We had a budgie, the family did, in my childhood - or maybe we were watching someone else's budgie - & it just seemed so sad all the time, in this little cage, occasionally chirping, & made to be quiet by putting a blanket over its cage at night.  I keep saying cage.  It's kept in a frickin' cage!  Isn't that crazy.

Anyway, I've had to dispose of a few birds because I have a bird-killing hound - I don't think she means to kill them, I think she just wants to play - when they stop moving, she loses interest, & I come in to pick the poor things up & put them in the garbage.  Here's the thing I find so weird: they're so light.  They weigh almost nothing!  It seems like that's self-explanatory - there's a phrase, "light as a feather," to describe near-weightlessness, & of course their bones are hollow - but to feel it in real life, that's odd.  You expect a little more heft.  Or at least I do.

The show itself will probably be just as light & inconsequential.  It'll happen tomorrow at noon at Self Help Radio dot net.  It may actually happen on time this week!  I better get my shit together - starting in September, there's not going to be the chance to do a show late.

The Big Announcement

Last week on the show, I teased a big announcement this week.  It's time for that!  Here it is.  Are you sitting down?  Why?  It's really not all that important.

Starting September 2, 2019, Self Help Radio returns to the airwaves - this time in Portland, Oregon.  It'll be on Freeform Portland, 90. 3 + 98.3 fm & online at freeformportland.org.  It'll be on weekly from 6-8am.

This will be the first time Self Help Radio's been on the actual radio since April 2018, I believe.  It also marks the fourth city & the fifth station on which the show has appeared.

Naturally I am grateful for the opportunity & I've probably already expressed how much I like Freeform Portland.  I've subbed there a few times, I'm helping with their Music Library Committee, & starting this month I'm on their training committee.  The place has a great vibe.

That's that.  There are four more podcasts before then, so let's focus on those before, wow!  Back on the fm airwaves!  Hooray!

Lucy Tells A Joke About Feathers

But the punchline remains elusive.

Is There Such A Thing As A Little Exhaustion?

This has been a long day.  Here's what I did:

At 5:30 am, I walked with the wife my dogs.  This was her first day of teaching neuroanatomy & I signed up to run the board for news & public affairs programs at KBOO.  So.  We coaxed the pups to pooped & prepared for our day.  She went to work.  I went to the radio station.

Let me tell you, with just a few hours of sleep under my belt (that's a mixed metaphor, right?), I made a couple of big mistakes, but they wouldn't make any sense to relate.  I might not be asked back.

At home, I fed my animals, I had lunch, I tried to nap, I woke & showered & headed back to KBOO, where I help with the music library.

After that, I headed to another station - XRAY - to help with their music library.

Once home - after dinner - I wrote some emails in regards to projects with Freeform Portland.  & signed up to help at an event this weekend that XRAY is putting on.

Tonight, after the wife went to sleep, I drank a little whiskey & continued watching The Boys, which I have enjoyed more than let's say the last seven Marvel movies combined.  It might be eight.

But now I should go to bed.  I have a Self Help Radio to work on tomorrow!

Self Help Radio 080219: Shyness

(Original image here.)

Well, I warned you it would be late.  Let's just pretend the show was a little shy, yes?

It's late in the day & later where you are so I'll just say I think it turned out well despite me frantically putting it together in climps & clumps.  It may also be the first place you hear the idiom "shy as the pepper on a plate of cheese."  & possibly the last.

So: Self Help Radio dot net right now.  Username SHR, password selfhelp.  Please don't be shy, share this shyness with everyone!

Self Help Radio Shyness Show

"I'm A Shy Guy" Nat King Cole Trio _Jumpin' At Capitol: The Best Of The Nat King Cole Trio_
"Shy Baby" Curley Williams & His Georgia Peach Pickers _Swing & Boogie Time With Curley Williams & His Georgia Peach Pickers_
"Bashful & Blue" Floyd Turnham Orchestra _Rhythm & Blues Goes Rock & Roll, Vol. 1_

introduction & definitions

"Shy Boy" Tomorrow _Tomorrow_
"Shy Boy" The Lovelites _With Love From The Lovelites_
"Don't Be Shy" Cat Stevens _The Road To Find Out_
"Too Shy" Direct Hits _Whaam! Bam! Thank You Dan! A Whaam! Records Compilation 1981-1984_
"The Shyest Time" The Apartments _The Shyest Time_

interview with motivational speaker Dirk Robbins

"Ask" The Pines _Romantic & Square Is Hip & Aware_
"Shy Like You" 14 Iced Bears _In The Beginning_
"Shy Away" Love Parade _Past Crimes_
"Starshy" Heavenly _Le Jardin De Heavenly_
"Too Shy" Moe Tucker _I Spent A Week There The Other Night_

interview with the shyest person in the world, author Mary Hansom

"Homosapien" Pansy Division _Deflowered_
"Shy" Beezus _Lives Of The Saints_
"I Would But I'm Shy" Fast & Dirty _Live From Our Pants_
"Shy Laura" The Summer Suns _Bedbugs_
"Bashful" The Pacific Ocean _Birds Don't Think They're Flying_

a dramatic readings of a classic rock song: "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo

"All Dressed Up & Shy" Club 8 _Nouvelle_
"Shy Song" True Love Always _Spring Collection_
"The Shy Guy Returns A Toaster" Jonathan Winters _Wings It!_
"I'm Shy" The Juliana Hatfield Three _Whatever, My Love_
"Don't Be Shy" The Libertines _The Libertines_

an exploration of idioms using the word 'shy'

"Camera-Shy" The Lucksmiths _Naturaliste_
"For The Camera Shy" Marine Life _Fool Of A Kind_
"Shy Boy" Gap Dream _This Is Gap Dream_
"Shyness" Thieves Like Us _Again & Again_
"Shy" Local Natives _Violet Street_

conclusion & goodbye

"2 Shy" Happy Birthday _Happy Birthday_
"Too Shy To Die" Buy Off The Bar _It's Up To Billy_

Whither Shyness?

(I took this picture in May, I titled it "Shy Mountains.")

Honestly, it's surprising that it's taken me this long to do a show about shyness.  The reason it happened has nothing to do with a song or songs I was listening to.  Instead, I happened upon a discussion, which I referenced yesterday, about the difference between shyness & introversion.  I started thinking how hard it would be to do a show about introversion.  That would take me weeks!  But shyness would be easy!

It of course began with "Ask" by the Smiths & down the rabbit hole I went.  I noticed that the word "shy" can mean to recoil or step back from, like in gun shy or camera shy - or even in the phrase shy away.  That opened up other possibilities - & took us farther away from introversion.

Here's where I mention the show will happen tomorrow at noon, but, alas, it won't.  I have a morning commitment at a radio station (sigh) but will work on the show as soon as I get home.  It should happen some time tomorrow afternoon.  I hope that doesn't inconvenience you.  Let's just pretend this week's show will be a little shy, as well.

So! Tomorrow! In the afternoon! Pacific time afternoon!  Self Help Radio dot net!  Don't be too shy to listen!

Preface To Shyness: Two Stories About How Shy I Am

For the purposes of these tales, I suppose I am conflating shyness with introversion.  That may be wrong.  According to this article, "Shyness & introversion are not the same thing. Shyness is the fear of negative judgment, & introversion is a preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments."  I don't know if I entirely agree - in my life those two things have coincided.

For some reason, I was a very shy kid, but only around strangers.  If I knew someone, I would warm up & even be ridiculously loud.  But certain things terrified me, & one of them in particular was cold-calling someone on the phone.  Especially to do something like order pizza.

My mother worked nights often at a convenience store, & although we were ostensibly watched by my younger sister (six years older than I) (she was still living at home), she was often out with her friends, underage drinking & getting high & what-not.  My mother didn't ask her to cook for us, & in fact we would be often required to fend for ourselves, either to walk to a nearby grocery store (a Minyard's) to get something in a can, or, when a Domino's opened nearby, to call for pizza delivery.

Most kids I would imagine would love to call to order pizza - I'm certain it's something we play-acted doing when we were younger.  But my little brother & I would fight over calling for a pizza - & the loser of the fight would have to call.

At some point, I got exhausted by always having to struggle to get these simple tasks done, so I eventually just learned to be the mouthpiece for the two of us.  I went to the counter, I called whomever, I asked the person who worked wherever where things were.  In a sense, that's what's made me less introverted & what's kept my little brother more or less the same quiet person he was when he was a kid.

But I do remember the first time I had to stand up & speak at a meeting at KVRX.  My legs started to tremble.  I don't really think I've gotten much better.

The second story does more involve introversion than shyness, although I do think my shyness is involved.  I dated for a time a woman who was very outgoing, who loved dinner parties & that sort of thing.  She had other introverts as friends so said she understood when I didn't want to tag along, but she assumed that I also had zero social skills.  When I finally joined her at some gathering, she was shocked to see me be friendly & chatty & otherwise the opposite of miserable.  I told her, "Don't mistake being anti-social because I prefer to be alone with being anti-social because I'm socially awkward."

But thinking about it, my earlier experiences with my little brother - just being so tired about every human interaction needing a fight to precipitate it - & frankly, when I bested him, my little brother was always so bad at those interactions because he was really quite shy - it made me develop some kinds of social skills he probably never did.  As far as I know.

The most obvious time my shyness is in view these days is when I am walking my dogs by myself.  I listen to music & desperate hope I don't have to talk to other dog walkers or strangers or people who want to meet my dogs.  I have what I imagine is an obviously fake smile I give to people which I hope warns them away.  My dogs, however, aren't shy at all.  Assholes.

Today I Rode A Tram Through The City

It's true.  & walked across a bridge.  & ate lemon ice cream.  & drove to a pizza place after it had closed because my wife left her phone there & when she realized it, she did some "Find Your Phone" magic that made the phone tell whoever had it to call me.

We had friends in town from Texas.  That makes four times we've had visitors in the two or so months we've been here.  In Fort Worth, we had visitors the same amount - one friend from Kentucky & two from Austin - & they came for a visit twice.  That's in three years.

By the way, I have family in the D/FW metroplex.  A mother, a sister, three brothers, two sisters-in-law, one brother-in-law, & a slew of nieces, nephews, & three children I think of nieces & nephews.  Of that amazing extended family, only one of them - a nephew - visited us in Fort Worth.  My mother didn't even visit us!

I very much doubt any member of my family will visit us here, but I do imagine other friends will find their way to this lovely city & we'll be here to hang out if they want.  We ate so much food today.  We ate too much food today.

Tomorrow night, another Freeform Portland sub show.  Friday, another Self Help Radio.  Now, sleep.

It Was A Nice Day

This is perhaps a new thing I can say: I volunteered at three different radio stations in a twenty-four hour period.  & I wonder why I am tired all time.

Seriously, I am tired all the time, & I never do anything.  Should I see a professional?

Yes, I attended a meeting at one station on Sunday night at 4pm, I worked for the music library of a different radio station today at 2pm, & went to work on similar stuff for a third station at 4:30pm.  That's a weird kind of achievement, yeah?

It was probably more than all that & I feel like I am finally finding things I can help with here in town.  Whether any of that leads to me getting to do Self Help Radio on a local station is another matter.  But!  I love helping out.

Is there enough time tonight to binge the last season of Orange Is The New Black?  Is that why I'm tired all the time?

Self Help Radio 072619: Mine! All Mine!

This show is hella late.  The fault is mine - all mine.

There's not much to say.  Go listen, if you've been waiting for it.  I need to nap.

The show is at Self Help Radio dot net, & you'll need a password (try "selfhelp") & a username (try "SHR") (don't use the parentheses).  What you'll hear is below.

Yes.  I take all responsibility.

Self Help Radio Mine! All Mine! Show

"She's Mine All Mine" Blacktop _I Got A Baaad Feelin' About This_
"When You Were Mine" Allo, Darlin' _Capricornia_
"(I Can't Seem To) Make You Mine" The Clientele _Strange Geometry_

introduction

"Is He Really Mine" Dream Diary _You Are The Beat_
"Mine" The Aquadolls _Stoked On You_
"Make Her Mine" Hipster Image _The Mod Scene_
"Be Mine Tonight" Lloyd Williams _Searching For Soul_
"Mine All Mine" Anna Oxygen _All Your Faded Things_

interview with storage space owner Ernest Froelich

"Can't Seem To Make You Mine" Alex Chilton _19 Years: A Collection Of Alex Chilton_
"When U Were Mine" Ida _Poor Dumb Bird_
"She Is Mine" The Psychedelic Furs _Talk Talk Talk_
"Gotta Make You Mine" Velvet Crest _Gotta Make You Mine_
"Till You Say You'll Be Mine" The Primitives _Echoes & Rhymes_

interview with sociologist Mesa Rob

"I Me Mine" The Beatles _Let It Be_
"Make You Mine" The Drums _Summertime!_
"Sort Of Mine" Heavenly _Le Jardin De Heavenly_
"If You Were Mine" Billie Holiday _The Quintessential Billie Holiday, Vol. 1: 1933 - 1935_
"I Wish You Were Mine" T-Bone Walker _The Original Source_

discussion of Gary's radio adventures
phone call by lawyer Bobcat Sloan

"Mine All Mine" Jimmy Wakely _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 15 (1948)_
"He's Mine" The Platters _Enchanted: The Best Of The Platters_
"Click & You're Mine" Miss World _Waist Management EP_
"Be Mine" Burnt Palms _Back On My Wall_
"That Boy Is Mine" The School _Reading Too Much Into Things Like Everything_

discussion of Gary's radio adventures

"Mine Mine Mind" Roky Erickson & The Aliens _The Evil One_
"She's Mine" The Frowning Clouds _Listen Closelier_
"Tell Me That You're Mine" This Happy Breed _Woosh! Little Teddy Recordings 1991-2001_
"She Was Mine" The Beaux Jens _Scream Loud!!! The Fenton Story_
"I'll Keep It With Mine" Rainy Day _Rainy Day_

conclusion & goodbye

"Mine" The Ramonalisas _Wintersliding_
"You Were Mine" The Hit Parade _More Pop Songs_

Whither Mine! All Mine!?

(I forgot where I downloaded this old jpg, sorry!)

Another damn show with too many songs.  I beg your indulgence if I don't play the first one that pops into your head - or the second one - or the ninth one.  There. are. too. many. songs. that. fit. this. theme.

Perhaps I should've thought of "be mine."  Or "he's mine."  Or "make you mine."  Or something else more specific.  Alas, hindsight is a dish best served cold.  Hmm.  That didn't make any sense.  I blame it on my new floss.  It's tough but fair.

There's nothing more to day, as I have seventeen more hours of songs to listen to.  Just wanted to remind you the show will happen I really hope around noon tomorrow, Friday, July 26, over at Self Help Radio dot net.  It'll be mine, & then it'll be yours.  & then you'll want to return it.

Preface To Mine! All Mine!: The Wednesday That Time Forswore

This evening I took a spinach sesame noodle casserole over to the neighbors for what I was told was a "block party" but it was just the wife & me & some neighbors who liked each other.  The people across the street weren't invited & neither were the youngsters who, our next-door neighbor said, deal drugs!  

It was otherwise fun but I drank a lot of wine & need to get to sleep.  So forgive me for this brief posting.  The day was not mine.

Primary Care

Today I had my first doctor's appointment in Portland.  Nothing's wrong, I just like to have a doctor.  It seems so strange because, while technically we had a doctor when I was a kid, he was mainly there to get drugs without a prescription (we were quite poor) & for emergencies.  He was very fond of my mother & my sister Pat & seemed a kind soul.  His name was George Molhusen & although I can't find any reports online, my sister told me he died in a house fire after rescuing both his wife & his dog.  He was 79 years old.

Anyway, I think my first real doctor was a fellow who didn't give a shit about me in Kentucky.  I saw him every six months & I don't think he remembered me once.  He remains the first man ever to penetrate me anally, albeit with his finger, & I hope he remembers that act as fondly as I do.

We had a great GP in Fort Worth, one of the five best things about my time there.  She was very kind, very supportive, & she hugged me goodbye when I said we were moving.  I think I actually was healthier when I moved than when I first saw her.  She liked horses.

This doctor today was fine & dropped the s-bomb in my presence, which I approve of.  But later on - after both a urine sample was given & blood was drawn - I discovered the wife had misunderstood the insurance information & this doctor isn't in our network, or whatever that language is.  So I probably won't see her again.

All that blood!  All that urine!  I hope I'm all right.  Will I ever know?  Ah well.  I have another appointment scheduled for September.  Hopefully this one will be in network.

First Freeform Portland Sub Show

On Saturday night/Sunday morning, I subbed my first show on KFFP, better known as Freeform Portland, the low-power FM here in town.  It's a wonderful place, & I am glad to be involved, even if I probably didn't do a show exactly like the one I subbed.  I basically did me.  That's always a dodgy proposition.

You can listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website if you'd like.  What I played is below.  I celebrated a few birthdays, I talked to myself in the middle of the night, & some people walked the streets below me.  It was fine.

Remember: password is selfhelp, username is SHR.

Basement Boogie Sub Show 

"It's Not Explained, It's Delaware" Tullycraft _The Railway Prince Hotel_
"Happiness Is A Warm Gun (Take 19)" The Beatles _The Beatles (White Album) [Deluxe]_
"Innocence" The Other Two _The Other Two & You_

"The Trip" Kim Fowley _Nuggets: Original Artyfacts From The First Psychedelic Era, Vol. 2_
"The Boy Is A Tramp" Crocodiles _Boys_
"1972" Broken Social Scene _Let's Try The After_
"Heavens Above" The Pastels _Heavens Above_
"Tanto" Sessa _Grandeza_

"Kindergarten Of The Stars/A Touch Of Fairfax" Robin Williams _Reality... What A Concept_
"Love Insane" Dif Juz _Extractions_
"Beguine" Olivia Neutron-John _Olivia Neutron-John_
"Bashibazouks" Momus _Scobberlotchers_
"Aus Birgittes Tagebuch" Bangkok Impact _Lektroluv 5_

"The Hurt" Cat Stevens _Foreigner_
"Half Life Crisis" Jim O'Rourke _Simple Songs_
"Anyways" Harlan _Anyways_
"Conesuela" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Prophets, Seers & Sages The Angels Of The Ages_
"Country Girl" Jacobites _Robespierre's Velvet Basement_

"Single Girl, Married Girl" The Carter Family _Anthology Of American Folk Music_
"Mandolin Boogie" The Armstrong Twins _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 10 (1945-1946)_
"The Randall Knife" Steve Earle & The Dukes _Guy_
"Lonely" Tom Waits _Closing Time_
"Be Still" Robyn Hitchcock _Love From London_

"Dedication Not Medication" The Fall _Sub-Lingual Tablet_
"Where My Mind Goes" Apex Manor _Heartbreak Manor_
"Just Who Is The Five O'Clock Hero" The Jam _The Gift_
"Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat" Bob Dylan _Live 1966 (The "Royal Albert Hall" Concert)_
"Believe In Nothing" Peter Perrett _Humanworld_
"1-2-3" Professionals _I Didn't See It Coming_

Self Help Radio 071919: Voices

(Original image here.)

So many voices on today's show!  & not just in song - there are four guests on today's show!  What a delight!  What a mess!

My voice is shot now, spending all that time talking & singing along.  I made need some special kind of tea.  Or alcohol.  Tea with alcohol?  Alcohol with a splash of tea?  This is the most accommodating café I've ever seen.

What else is there to say?  Save your voice, listen to this show instead.  Tons of songs, a voice coach, a voice actor, a spiritual mentor, & a surgeon.  It'll make you hoarse in some way.  Maybe just mentally.

It's now at the Self Help Radio website, & once there you'll need a username (which is SHR) & a password (which is selfhelp) to access.  What you'll hear - including the interviews, is below.

Life up every voice & listen!

Self Help Radio Voice Show

"The Voice" Ultravox _Rage In Eden_
"V.O.I.C.E." Poeme Electronique _The Echoes Fade_
"The Voice" Boys Next Door _Door, Door_

introduction & definitions

"Voice" Sacred Paws _Strike A Match_
"Voices" The Cavalcade _Many Moons_
"Voices" Sunscreen _Just A Drop EP_
"Voices, That's All" Chumbawamba _ABCDEFG_
"New York Voices" George Carlin _Occupation: Foole_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Hearing Voices" Galaxie 500 _This Is Our Music_
"I Hear Voices" Screamin' Jay Hawkins _I Hate CDs: Norton Records 45 RPM Singles Collection, Vol. 1_
"She's Hearing Voices" Bloc Party _Silent Alarm_
"Golden Voice Announcer's School" Gary Owens _Put Your Head On My Finger_
"Voices Inside My Head" The Police _Zenyatta Mondatta_

interview with cosmetic voice surgeon Dr. Herbert Humekake

"Other Voices" The Cure _Faith_
"My Other Voice" Sparks _No. 1 In Heaven_
"The Voice In My Head" Aaron Aryanpur _In Spite Of_
"Sacred Voices" Red Letters _Kilt By Death: The Sound Of Old Scotland_
"The Hidden Voice" TV21 _Something's Wrong_

interview with voice coach Dr Jacob Melodious

"Information In The Voice" Malcolm Middleton _Summer Of '13_
"Voice Yr Choice" The Go! Team _Rolling Blackouts_
"Voices Inside (Everything Is Everything)" Donny Hathaway _Everything Is Everything_
"Little Voice" Ashby _Looks Like You've Already Won_
"Now Your Smile Comes Over In Your Voice" The Wave Pictures _Beer In The Breakers_

interview with aspiring voice actor & cousin, Larry
+ goodbye!

"Voice From The Mountain" Nick Drake _Time Of No Reply_

Whither Voices?

(Image from a website explaining how the voice works.)

It seems unfair, to me, that you get to hear my voice all the time & I never get to hear yours.  It would be so cool if you'd record yourself talking about one of my dumb themes & I could play it on the show.  What do you sound like?  I have no idea.

A few months ago - maybe before we left Texas - I started thinking about a show about voices.  It started out as a purely acapella show - but that proved a little difficult.  Maybe one day.  I discovered there were lots of songs that purport to be about voices, & that settled it: the path of least resistance, songs about voices.

Turns out there are hella songs about voices.  So much so that I could easily do a three-hour show.  I'm not going to - no one needs to hear my voice that long - but I could.  There are so many songs, though, I'm afraid I might not make it by noon tomorrow.  But I will try!

Noon tomorrow.  Self Help Radio dot net.  The next time you'll hear my voice.  Hopefully not the last.

Preface To Voices: The Voice I Will Hear Tonight

(Image from here.)

Not only the voice - I'll get to see him, too!  In a couple of hours, I'm heading to my first Portland comedy experience - which also happens to be my first Portland comedy festival experience, as it's the first night of the Portland Queer Comedy Festival as well - seeing the great Scott Thompson of The Kids In The Hall as his character Buddy Cole.

This is true: I wouldn't have found out about the show if I hadn't gone Saturday to be trained at yet another station in town.  That makes three I am involved with.  More about that soon.

But for now!  Off to see the great man!

Toothiness

Today I had my teeth cleaned for the second time in three months.  It reminded me of another dental story.  Here is that story:

When we lived in Huntington, West Virginia, we looked for a dentist a few weeks after arriving because we believe in dental care.  Friends - a couple the wife met through academic colleagues - recommended a dentist within walking distance of our house.  That was cool.  We went there, & I luckily didn't need any work, but the wife needed to have a filling replaced.  That wasn't fun.

A year later, after we had moved to Lexington, Kentucky, the wife began experiencing pain when the replaced filling was.  She went to a different dentist & discovered the Huntington dentist had simply done a terrible job, the filling was not properly done, & it had to be replaced.

The wife was furious.  She called her friends & told them about the experience.  They said, "Oh yeah, it's happened with us, too."

It was a quintessential West Virginia experience: she's not a very good dentist, but she's our dentist.

My experience today only somewhat reminded me of this story, & what happened was, even though three months have passed since my last cleaning, my mouth was a mess.  Without going into any detail, the hygienist did a marvelous job, making me reflect that if I were a masochist, I might specialize in the weird pain/pleasure sensation of someone scraping at your gums.  It also make me realize that our dentist in Fort Worth wasn't any good.

Afterwards the wife asked me if I liked the dentist.  (I did not like our dentist in Kentucky & after three visits I found another on my own.)  She was not only relieved when I said yes, we both were surprised our teeth were in such terrible shape.

This time, though, it was entirely our fault.  We picked a dentist in Fort Worth near the wife's work, which was convenient for both of us.  & he was very kind last year (or was it the year before) when I had to have a crown replacement.

But boy his hygienists were terrible.  I haven't had my teeth cleaned that well in ages.  I look forward to six months from now!

This is probably not very interesting but it's on my mind.  I should've written about some radio meetings I had this week.  Damn.  Okay, tomorrow.

Folk Espresso The Second Time

This morning I subbed Folk Espresso the second time.  I got one very nice call from a person who appreciated my style & what I played, but two negative calls - one is which the fellow simply yelled at me to shut up & play music & then hung up - & another which came after the positive call also suggesting I talk too much & also letting me know that "people don't give shit about birthdays" - a reference to me both playing musicians who have birthdays under my voice as well as playing songs by musicians who had a birthday today (Ian Curtis, Washboard Sam, Linda Ronstadt, & Roky Erickson).  It left me with a bad taste in my mouth & I probably won't sub the show again, mainly because I get the impression that the folks who listen to the show - to the 5:30 to 7 folk block every morning on KBOO - are people who have been listening a long, long time, & I think they'll be happiest with people they're familiar with - who apparently don't talk as much as I do.

It's weird to think of people who get angry at the radio & it's not talk radio, isn't it?

You can listen to the show here, if you want.  What I played is below.

"Katmandu" Cat Stevens _Mona Bone Jakon_
"Clever Songs" Four Eyes _I'd Rather Be Ghost Hunting_
"Losers Like Me & You" Erik Koskinen _Burning The Deal_

"Love Will Tear Us Apart" June Tabor With Oysterband _A Beginner's Guide To English Folk_
"Jubilee" Jake Xerxes Fussell _Out Of Sight_
"Wild Mountain Thyme" Judy Collins _Maid Of Constant Sorrow & Other Hits_
"The Wild Man Of The Sea" Elliott Morris _The Way Is Clear_
"I Drink" Mary Gauthier _Mercy Now_

"Bucket's Got A Hole In It" Washboard Sam _When The Sun Goes Down, Vol. 3: That's Chicago's South Side_
"Georgia" Aviva Le Fey _Lovesick_
"Ramblin' & Tumblin'" Spider John Koerner _Spider Blues_
"Highway Blue" Erin Durant _Islands_
"You're A Big Girl Now" Bob Dylan _Biograph_

"Walk Away Renee" Linda Ronstadt & Ann Savoy _Adieu False Heart_
"You Don't Love Me Yet" Roky Erickson _All That May Do My Rhyme_
"Summertime" Carolyn Hester _At Town Hall_
"The Long Game" Johnathan Rice _The Long Game_
"Heart Of Black" Gold Light + Snakemusk _Shadows In The Shallows_

"Ada & Asa" Jenny Adkins _Ada & Asa_
"Written In The Book" John Tams _The Reckoning_
"Heart Still Beats" Eva & The Vagabond Tales _Uncharted Ocean_

Self Help Radio 071219: All Day & All Night

(Original day & night images from here & here respectively.)

Finally! After a week! The "All Day & All Night" episode of Self Help Radio! It took two weeks but it's here!  Still, don't get your hopes up.  It's mainly the same old thing.

Here's something I didn't notice until I looked at the list of previously-explored themes on the Self Help Radio website: almost exactly ten years ago, I did a show with the theme All Night Long, & some songs from that playlist make their way onto this one.  But this show us more than "all night long"!  It's an all day show too!

Anyhow, you can listen all day & all night over at Self Help Radio dot net.  Do I need to remind you of the password (selfhelp) & the username (SHR)?  I do it every week.  What happens on the show is listed below.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sleep all day.

Self Help Radio All Night & All Day Show

"All Day & All Of The Night" The Kinks _Kinks_
"All Day All Night" Bob Marley & The Wailers _Catch A Fire_
"All Day All Night" And The Kids _Turn To Each Other_

introduction & a conversation with myself

"All Night Long" Roba Stanley _Banjo Pickin' Girl: Women In Early Country Music, Vol. 1 (1920-30s)_
"Ben Bland's All-Day Matinee, Part One" The Firesign Theatre _Just Folks... A Firesign Chat_
"You Can Tell Me All Night Long" Bill Fox _Shelter From The Smoke_
"Love You (All Day Long) (Alternate Mix)" Tommy Hoehn _Thank You Friends: The Ardent Records Story_
"Up All Night" The Boomtown Rats _Mondo Bongo_

interview with record breaker Abbas

"All Day Long" New Order _Brotherhood_
"All Night Party" A Certain Ratio _acr:box_
"Sigh, Inhibitionist (Come All Day With Me)" A Sunny Day In Glasgow _Autumn, Again_
"The All-Night Obituary Of The Air" Conception Corporation _Complete Conception_
"All Day" The Concretes _WYWH_

interview with mental health specialist Johann Fred Friedrich

"You Shook Me All Night Long" Cecilia Noel _Havana Rocks_
"All Day Long" Shop Assistants _Scared To Get Happy (A Story Of Indie-Pop 1980-1989)_
"All Night Party" Anne Clark _Changing Places_
"Up All Day" The Castaway Stones _Make Love To You_
"If It Takes All Night" Roxy Music _Country Life_

a trip into Self Help Radio's past
a phone call from lawyer Bobcat Sloan

"All Day Today" Hospitality _Hospitality_
"All Night Long" Headcoatees _Here Comes Cessation_
"Waiting All Day" Eric's Trip _Forever Again_
"Don't Take All Night" Nina Simone _Four Women: The Nina Simone Philips Recordings_
"Here All Day" Trembling Blue Stars _Alive To Every Smile_

conclusion & goodbye

"I Walked All Night" The Embers _El Primitivo: American Rock N Roll & Rockabilly_
"All Day Daylight" The Morning Benders _Big Echo_
"All Night Worker" Downliners Sect _The Definitive Downliners Sect Singles As & Bs_
"All Day Long" X-Teens _Love & Politics_
"All Night Long" The Palace Guard _The Palace Guard_
"All Day I'm Thinking Of You" Wolfie _Heavy Lady 7"_

Whither All Day & All Night?

(Image from here.)

Yes, there will be a show this week.  I'm feeling better & I have no other commitments besides getting the damn thing done.  I feel bad about flaking last week so I am working about 7% harder on this show than usual.  That means a shorter nap in the middle of the day.  The things I do for you.

The truth is, I can't recall why the show is both all day and all night songs.  Usually, I'd pick one or the other, wouldn't I?  Maybe it's because I thought it'd be an easy show to put together & didn't want to scramble to find obscure songs called "all night long" because I wanted to do one of my narrowly-themed shows.  If so, then: irony!

The reason for the theme is lost in the midst of my fuzzy memory.  It's certainly not because I've stayed up all day & all night recently.  I wish I had, especially on the radio.  That would be fun.

The show! Available all day & all night starting tomorrow at noon PST at Self Help Radio dot net.  I hope it is worth the wait.  Spoiler alert!  It won't be.

Preface (Again) To All Day & All Night: What If?

What if one of my musical heroes wrote a song for Self Help Radio?  Would it be something like this?



Let's be clear: Momus has no idea a radio show called Self Help Radio exists.  But I like to pretend.

Very Little To Report

Seriously, I've just been listening to music & working on the show that was supposed to happen last week.  Now I have to feed the animals & get to bed because I am operating the boards for two talk shows tomorrow morning.

I choose to share with you a poem I wrote twenty years & a day ago.  Lucky you!  It's called "Reprieve Reprise."

better soak it

what a gumble hardly trouble just a few slices slip
need to ice the razzleberry hardly fairly rub it
softer there's a lot to put in eyelids over & above
the last respite you didn't say it call it love

better hold it

listen bastard torn green fabric taking pulse from
nothing else i crumble neatly you can't feel me where
i was saying bent on the day after some sick bagman
carries away organs for the donors not the lonely

you know better

i know music see the bruises like abstrex tattoos
saved one for you a heart to clutch fuck all it's much
more than memory close to repairing some point you
missed if i hadn't stayed you'd resist frayed afraid

best forget her

Back In The Saddle

Okay.  I'm still not 100% but I don't have a bunch of obligations this week to foul me up, so I think there'll be a new episode of Self Help Radio.  Think?  I'm sure of it!

In fact, I visited one of the radio stations at which I volunteer today & I filled out an application for SHR there.  I don't imagine the turnaround will be too quick - nothing appears to happen too terribly quickly there - but it was nice they let me apply.  I have been daydreaming about getting a show there since I drove home, which is probably not healthy, but I can't help it.  I daydream & I worry, sometimes at the exact same time.

The wife said, "Look at you, filling your days with radio" - oh yeah, I forgot!  I am going to train at the third station this weekend.  It would be quite fun if I had three different radio shows on three different stations.  Holy shit, could I sustain that?  I dunno.

There's a meeting tomorrow & I am running the board for two talk shows on Wednesday so I should have ample time to put the show together.  Why, you may ask, did I not work on it this weekend?  Shouldn't I have done that?  Well.

First, I napped.  I think I may have an ear infection.  It helps to nap.

Second, I needed to go see the new Spider-Man movie.  It was mildly entertaining, & I sat in the wrong theater at first, so almost saw Toy Story 4.

Third, I volunteered to monitor the station for the last night of the Blues Festival, so I sat & read Twitter on my phone while I listened to Shemekia Copeland & Trombone Shorty, & had to tell angry deejays their shows were preempted by the live broadcast.  That was a fun moment, they were so het up by not being informed of the preemption until I pointed out there was a bulletin board just outside the deejay booth with the information.  At least one deejay discovered that his show would be preempted by another live broadcast at the end of the month.

They had the decency to simmer down when they realized they weren't paying attention.  & one of them decided to go to the Blues Festival.

One of these days I'll learn not to procrastinate.  Not today, though.

Excuses, Excuses (No Show This Week)

(Image from here.)

Ugh, I feel so bad about this.  The short bit of news is that I just don't think I'll have the time & energy to put together Self Help Radio this week.  I will be gone most of today helping out with a remote broadcast & much of that involved sitting in the sun while live bands played nearby & everyone had to yell to speak to one another.  Five hours of that will really wear you down.

Do you want to hear more excuses?  I've been feeling run-down this week & even had a fever the other night, although what it's from is a little confusing - I don't have a cold & I haven't otherwise had any symptoms of sickness.

& this morning we took our cat Boone for a follow-up visit to the vet to try to figure out why he's so thin & is coughing.  The steroids he was given to possibly treat for asthma have not resulted in a diminishing of his coughing fits.  Now he's being treated for possible parasites.

Again, I remind myself that this wouldn't happen if I could do the show live.  The whole process of editing the audio takes much more time than a live "performance."  So if I had a show on the air, I would not be skipping it this week.

But I also must remind myself all this work I'm doing is to make sure that I will one day be back on the air.

Please accept my apologies - I apologize to my collaborators too! - the show with the theme "all day & all night" will happen next Friday at noon.

Preface To All Day & All Night: The Perils Of Holiday Radio/The Perils Of Podcasting

(Image from here.)

Here's a warning: Self Help Radio may not be "on time" this week.  I want to help out at a radio station here & they are broadcasting live from a festival & I'll be on site to announce stuff  between acts, & that's happening both Thursday & Friday, & it's probably no surprise those are the days I work on the show.  A huge swath of time I normally spend on the show has not been taken doing something else.

This has become a habit, I'm sorry.  I promise, I am working as hard as possible without being an unbearable pest to get Self Help Radio on the air in Portland.  But as long as the podcast can be released whenever, I have the option to postpone & reschedule.

Have a happy fourth & I'll try to get the show done by noon on Saturday.  I'll try.  I'll try.

Do You Ever Sleep All Night?

It's July 2.  Let's pretend it's July 1.  For the sake of argument.

Summertime is a good time to sleep all night.  Nights are shorter.  The goal is within reach.

The sun rose on July 1 at 5:26am in Portland.  It set the night before at 9:03pm.  That means there was about eight & a half hours of night to sleep all the way through.

That night I went to bed at around midnight.  I wasn't feeling well, I thought I might have a fever.  I tossed & turned & occasionally had to move to different parts of the bed because the animals in the bed had shifted positions.  I woke around seven to take the dogs for their morning walk.

You might generously give me seven hours of sleep, but I certainly didn't sleep all night.  I hardly ever if ever sleep all night.  I don't go to bed at 9pm (the animals get fed at 9:30pm) nor do I wake at 5:30am (unless it's for a radio show or something like that).  So I arguably will never sleep all night.

Conversely, in the wintertime, there'll be far less day than night.  Could I possibly sleep all day?

On January 1 in Portland, the sun rose at 7:41 am.  It set the night before at 4:38pm.  Holy shit.  That's less than nine hours of daylight.  Holy fucking shit.  Okay, I hadn't thought about that before.  All right.  Deep breaths.  Deep breaths.

There's no way I'm going to sleep all day if all day is less than nine hours long!  That's fifteen hours of night.  Where do I live now, the arctic?

What was I talking about?  Oh man, I can't believe - the sun rose on January 1 in Dallas at 7:30 & it set at 5:30 & that I know is just one hour more but for some reason it's just not as frightening.  Okay.  Okay.

Look, I need to make some preparations for a scary winter.  Forget all day & all night, I may want to sleep all winter long.

The Cat Seems A Little Lean

Happy July!  It's been a lovely summer so far in Portland, I hope it keeps being lovely.

Many years ago, in Kentucky, I got my cat Beatrice into the bad habit of eating on my desk.  She actually ate on this pull-out section just to my right, & every once in a while, when I was moving my mouse (I'm right-handed), if she were there, she'd take that as provocation & swat at me.

This situation continued in Texas but I slowly put a stop to it, especially after Beatrice died.  The cats had specific places they ate, usually on the dining room table, away from snoopy hounds who couldn't understand why they weren't eating as fast as dogs do.

But if you saw my desk right now, you'd say: hey, Gary, are there cats eating on your desk?  & I'd say, yes.  Yes, there are.  Well, one.  Boone.

Boone has been mentioned on this blog before, as well as in recent posts during the move.  He didn't enjoy the four-day drive to Portland.  & we noticed something a couple of weeks into our stay here: he seemed to be losing weight.

There could be many reasons, & we fixated on one: he's always had a weird cough.  We thought he maybe couldn't pass hairballs, so we gave him this goop (he did not enjoy getting this goop squirted into his mouth) which supposedly facilitated that.  But the intermittent coughing continued.  We decided to visit a vet - we're going to need to find a vet - to see what might be the case.

The tentative diagnosis?  Asthma.  Our cat Bronte has asthma, so we're familiar.  The initial treatment: steroids.  Which has made Boone hungry.  & I will feed him whenever he wants, so, once again, a cat is eating on my desk.

Do you smell this brand of cat food when you read the blog?  That's what I'm feeding him!  The wet stuff!  It's so gross!

He hasn't stopped coughing, but he has put on weight.  The wife is not convinced of the vet's diagnostic skills.  For now, I'm just glad he's eating.